Recent run-ins with wildlife

hate fish (tanked). came home from holiday when I was five to discover my goldfish had eaten each other (the person meant to come round and feed them didn’t).

I’ve already told my donkey-tickling story today :frowning:

I’ll have to go one better tomorrow and wank off an emu or something.

That sounds appalling. I’m sorry that you went through it.

1 Like

That is horrendous.

I got two fish as a secret santa and one of them needed special pills in the water that killed the other one. Awful stuff.

Not sure if this counts as a run in as such, but I’m going to tell it anyway. My dog has a problem with his penis, in so much as it gets stuck in ‘lipstick’ mode sometimes and gets very dry. In consequence the vet has advised that I have to periodically apply KY jelly to his cock. Highlight of my month it is…

7 Likes

I was just trying to grill a piece of gammon with the back door open and a bee kept trying to fly into the grill. I took my eye off it for a second and it was gone. Maybe it came to its senses, maybe it’s toasting in my grill. Either way, stupid bee.

I’ve also shovelled a couple of dead foxes into bin bags. You should put them out for the council, in case they’ve got something nasty or have been poisoned.

I fear that I may have over-shared here.

This is an actual thing someone has to do?

THANKS A LOT, YEAR 9 CAREERS ADVISOR.

And there was me dicking around doing a Masters in some shit I don’t even use for my job.

Too many involving birds. Hate birds.

On different occasions: Saw a seagull eating a dead pigeon and saw a pigeon eating a dead rat.

A long time ago: A dead pigeon nearly fell on my head after falling from a tree/the sky. Landed with a thud in front of me on the path.

:scream:

1 Like

Saw a sand lizard. You know when you go to a NT heath or woods or whatever and they have that board with all the wildlife that is there and you think I’m never going to see any of that shite? Well I did. A mother fucking sand lizard.

3 Likes

What was it doing?

Scuttling then stopping on a log just long enough to call my (largely unimpressed) family over and then scuttling off. we saw some rabbits later and heard a cuckoo too. We only went there as the A3 was closed due to an accident in the Hindhead tunnel - we were going to the Devil’s Punchbowl. So we were forced off at the first junction we could get to and lo and behold there was an NT place right there!

If you need any more details please don’t be afraid to ask.

(here’s a link to the accident)

1 Like

Ever seen a cuckoo? I feel like people have only ever heard them

1 Like

Essentially just a pigeon:

image

I think there are too many types of bird that people say are different, there’s basically just pigeons, crows and parrots really innit.

Saw one duck (mallard) with about ten ducklings in a little stream when we were out for a bike ride last Saturday.

Was nice.

2 Likes

I see a lot of birds on my walk to work. There’s a pair of tiny ones that look like finches except they have what look like yellow mohawks on their heads. Cannot figure out what they are.

Pigeons

1 Like