References

eggs
dilemma

#1

ever been a reference for someone?

guy here is leaving to go somewhere else and has asked me for a reference. he’s a useless, lazy cunt and I don’t like him.

can’t flat out say no because his dad is pals with my boss. what do I do about it?


#2

Are you his boss? Tell him to use his boss as a reference.


#3

Tell him you’d love to, but unfortunately you don’t speak English.


#4

sort of.


#6

I just keep telling him I’m too busy and I’ll do it later right?


#7

Tell him you can’t do it because it would be a conflict of interests, because you’re in love with him.


#8

just explain that all you can give him is the bog standard “this cunt worked here between these dates and was employed as a japes’s gopher” style reference

means you don’t need to lie too


#9

say yes but then don’t


#10

give him an outstanding reference and you’ll never have to deal with his uselessness again. if you want you can hide a cryptic message in the reference, explaining your actions and perhaps asking if they can send you some pizza for your efforts


#11

I have also been considering this aspect of it

EDIT: this was meant to be a reply to @captainricebox


#12

^winning suggestion so far


#13

what does your boss think of him and the situation? He might well be mates with the fella’s dad but not like the fella. In which case you’d be safe to say no.


#14

Tell him you’ll do it because you’re an amazing dude but not to be such an annoying stupid idiot in his next job


#15

just did my first one yesterday. almost the only non-annoying thing about managing people


#16

Say you’ll do it and ask him to give your details if he applies for another job. Once you get the request, complete it as you see fit. Tell him to fuck himself if he wants a pre-written one.


#17

write a glowing reference. then add:

Disclaimer: please accept my disclosure that although James did offer himself to me in complete sexual depravity of my choice in exchange for a favourible end of year evaluation, this has in no way influenced my reference.


#18

classic james


#19

Harvard > APA > MLA


#20

he thinks he’s a nob too tbf


#21

My old boss has left but we’re friends on facebook, if I need a reference could I ask him to do it even though he doesn’t work for the company anymore?