Yeah but… 7 p on expenses. This guy’s probably on £80k.
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Bet my grandad would have done that.
Expenses cutoff? I will charge for anything over a fiver I think. Which has meant a couple of DART charges have not gone through.
sort of depends. if I’ve got loads of £1.50 parking charges or something, I’ll expense them. but I wouldn’t put a single one through.
former colleague would expense milk for the office if he had to buy it.
Also see:
- stealing large amounts of food from buffets to take home and getting caught/eating so much buffet food “as it’s essentially free” that he throws up and embarasses all his relatives
- hiding the chocolate biscuits when visitors came, and giving them tesco value digestives
- taking plant cuttings from strangers gardens without permission to save buying the plant (also caught and yelled at many times)
Actually I suppose I’ve got a (now topical!) anecdote about something similar-ish.
My friend’s great uncle emigrated from the west of Scotland to New York, where he worked in construction. He was the foreman when they built the lobby of Trump Towers, which has a massive multistorey waterfall made of genuine Italian marble shipped over at great expense, at the behest of The Donald himself.
John lived in a modest two bedroom house in Yonkers, which was entirely unremarkable other than the games room he built in his basement, which was paved and clad wall-to-wall in genuine Italian marble.
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My colleague at the time was pregnant and didn’t have much of a filter because she was so fed up in her pregnancy.
She was so excited about this krispy kreme doughnut. She took one bite and was like “that’s no krispy kreme” and threw it in the bin and went home in a sulk.
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my mum does this
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Has anyone ever come out of their house to shout at her? This happened lots of times when I was a kid.
Bought some of the ready salted ones by accident (thought they were classic McCoys). Opened them up, thought, what’s all this then?
They were INCREDIBLE. Some of the best crisps I’ve eaten, fam. Well salty, great texture. Even a bit chip-like. 
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And a waterfall about 8 foot shorter than initally planned?
not tried them yet but I’m fully on board here
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Revelations might be a good name for a box of those brownie chocolates
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not as far as I know… she was probably fairly tactful about which ones she nicked (such as you can be) like only taking a wee bit of a massive plant or something idk
My grandad would just blatantly stand there in someone’s garden messing with their plant. It was mortifying.
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You can’t prove that.
Same guy is the source of my favourite anecdote of all time, which I’ve posted before but can’t find.
One morning in the subway “some Hispanic guy” bumped into him heavily on the platform. When he was walking away, John patted down his pockets. His wallet was missing!
John chased the guy down and caught up with him on the stairs. He grabbed him, shoved him against the wall and in full west of Scotland accent growled “The wallet, please.” The guy hands it over and John put it in his pocket without breaking eye contact, then goes on his way to work.
When he gets in to work he gets told his wife had phoned for him earlier. He calls her back and says “you’ll never guess what happened to me on the way to work this morning! Someone tried to steal my wallet on the subway! What were you phoning about anyway?”
She said “John, you left your wallet on the bedside cabinet.”
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Just noticed this. I meant Graham Coxon 
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it’s the totaly tropica taste
8 p
who the hell is graham coconut
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