Roll Up Roll Up! It's the Wonderful The Cirque DiS Solei!

That’s right, get your tickets, buy your snacks, make your journey to the big tent… But wait, hang on just one gosh darn minute, we don’t know what the acts will be yet…

This is a thread about what you could bring to the table as a performer in a circus. Please talk us through what your act would be in order for us to pick a super fun lineup for our fun hypothetical event.

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I’m known for my good balance

I think people would come from far and wide to see me balance on stuff

Terrific! Welcome to the show SHYGUY, THE MAN WHO CAN NEVER FALL OVER!

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I can build a tableau dashboard

We’ll get you in the back office, thanks

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As stated on these boards before I am (was) a devil stick master and have been to Camden specifically to go to Oddballs juggling shop.

I can also do over 100 keepy uppies (no tricks)

Yeah, again, we’ll get you in the back office, thanks mate.

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Would you be willing to do some devil stick whilst smoking a doob?

Is there another way?

I can do a short dance with my cat until she remembers I’m not a very good dancer and get embarrassed and lets me down very gently so as not to hurt my feelings.

We’re not allowed animal performers any more in afraid. Do you reckon you could convince GtMS to dress up as a cat and stand in for the beast?

Welcome to the show BALONZ THE DOOBED UP DEVIL STICK BALLOON!

Thank you. Will I need to provide my own sequins?

If you need audience members I’m really good at sitting down and watching other people be talented, whilst snacking. As long as no audience participation was required

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Would you like me to climb up something which is hard to climb up?

I’m afraid I’m loyal to my cat I could not possibly dance with a cat impersonator, thanks all the same.

I have a very good memory, especially for useless bits of trivia, maybe there’s something in that?

If you would, thanks