Rolling Brand New Thread


#561

https://t.co/zSH4ous6ye

^statement from jesse lacey

n an effort to address recent events and the public conversation currently happening, I feel it is important to make a clear and personal statement.

The actions of my past have caused pain and harm to a number of people, and I want to say that I am absolutely sorry. I do not stand in defense of myself nor do I forgive myself. I was selfish, narcissistic, and insensitive in my past, and there are a number of people who have had to shoulder the burden of my failures. I apologize for the hurt I have caused, and hope to be able to take the correct actions to earn forgiveness and trust.

Early on in my life, I developed a dependent and addictive relationship with sex. I was scared of it, ashamed, and unwilling or unable to admit it, and so it grew into a consistent and terrible problem. Years ago, after admitting my habits and cheating to my then soon to be wife, I began to approach my problem in a serious way. I entered professional treatment, both in group therapy and individual counseling, and revealed the realities of what a terrible place I had gotten to in my life, and what a terrible impact my actions had on people.

Lust, sex, love, and arousal were coping tools for me, and I returned to them repeatedly. I detached my own feelings and emotions from most of my sexual interactions. I hid, or lied about my behavior to escape reproach. I was a habitual cheater. I have been unfaithful in many, if not most of my relationships, including the relationship with my wife, who has with all of her might, patience, and grace, tried to hold our marriage together, despite having to endure the pain of the revelations of my past. It is heart wrenching that the most important changes in my life have come at the expense of others.

I am sorry for how I have hurt people, mistreated them, lied, and cheated. I am sorry for ignoring the way in which my position, status, and power as a member of a band affected the way people viewed me or their approach to their interactions with me. And I am sorry for how often I have not afforded women the respect, support, or honesty that they deserved, and which is their right. I believe in the equality and autonomy of all, but in my life I have been more of a detriment to these ideals than an advocate.

I am working to shed all my narcissism and my self obsession, and to be better. In sobriety I have changed my life and my mind in real and important ways. I have also revealed the truth of my behaviors to myself and to others. I do not have words to express the patience and help my wife has offered me. I love my family with an intensity and realness that I have never felt before, and as a husband and a father I have been granted the opportunity to wake up each day with the intent to serve my family and the people around me, and to feel, for the first time that I have purpose.

The fact remains that none of us get to put a wall up between who we are and who we were. I need to earn forgiveness. Concepts like repentance, compassion, and love, are made real through actions, and it’s through my actions that I need to prove change. I hope I can show humility, and that the pain I have caused people can heal. I am not above reproach, and no one should be.

Jesse Lacey


#562

I think this is pretty bad, I mean that statement does seem quite self aware and sincere, but is completely negated by not specifically addressing the allegations, and really muddies the situation by mixing in all the stuff about infidelity that isn’t the issue and dilutes it. I think if he fully owns up to it, including going to the authorities, there would be a path to some kind of redemption for him, but this isn’t good enough


#563

“I have also revealed the truth of my behaviors to myself and to others”

What the fuck?


#564

yeah think he is just trying to obfuscate the whole thing by making it about his sex addiction and cheating and ignoring his actual crimes


#565

Ugh.


#566

I mean: is it “I’m an awful person but I’m not “soliciting photos from a 15 year old” awful” or “oh hell yeah, that shit is just the tip of the iceberg”. It at least reads like he’ll be making some attempt to put things right, whatever that might be, so I suppose we wait and see.


#567

Kevin Devinie’s statement which is much better:

I want to address the allegations against Jesse.

I believe that it is critically important to really listen to & hear people who speak out about abuse of power & sexual misconduct. I fully support that decision in this situation, which I’m sure was incredibly difficult, and I hope she is supported in the next part of her journey toward healing. I had not heard the story prior to it being made public yesterday. I’m heartbroken for her & for every person who absorbs & subsequently has to figure out how to live with this type of trauma. We all need to do a lot better, myself very much included.

I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict who has been sober for 9.5 years. My life experience has indicated to me that rehabilitation, through accountability, through owning & learning from the worst things about yourself, and through accepting & facing the consequences of your actions, is a real & possible ideal. I hope that my friend continues to do what he needs to do to get & be better. I completely understand it is not incumbent upon anyone else to see situations like this through that lens, and I mean to inflict no harm in presenting my experience.

I’m not sure what happens next. When I am, I’ll say more.

Thank you,
Kevin


#568

I think not addressing the allegations may be a legal thing. Then again, this statement exists because of them so it validates and acknowledges their existence, just not in a completely satisfying way.

Hope he’s privately contacting the people he’s hurt and apologising profusely. But I’m assuming that will help them and I could be so wrong.

As a society we’re completely unequipped to deal with this stuff and how to help, this is a larger issue than these incidents of abuse.

How do so many men feel able to manipulate,and how do so many women have such a lack of support they enter a manipulative situation? What judgement should those men have and who is right to give it? What can be done to support women not just to treat their traumas after the abuse has happened, but support before the trauma occurs so that they’re able to seek help/defend themselves the moment that someone starts being manipulative to them?


#569

if he can’t say something because it would implicate him in some legal proceedings then that is pretty bad, he should just say what he did and face the legal consequences


#570

Crazy how this thread has turned from total excitement and glee to utter contempt and disbelief huh


#571

Aye. Binned my TDAG cd earlier.


#572

There are more, to my eyes, worse allegations on Facebook now. Younger girls, intensive grooming and in-person meetings. Wouldn’t be surprised if this actually starts to get legal :confused:

I always liked the band but didn’t worship them - feel wretched for the people who looked up to/counted on them.


#573

Was at a cafe this morning and its playlist had Jesus Christ on it.

Can now confirm that Brand New being played in public is awkward as fuck. As Severed said above, crazy.


#574

Kevin Devine has pulled out

Guessing there’ll be a formal cancellation in the morning.


#575

What a fucking mess. I just hope the gig is cancelled now. In the face of these really dark allegations, I can’t fathom how I could listen to them in the same way again, if at all.


#576

I tried to listen to some Kevin Devine earlier but even Jesse’s backing vocals on a couple of tracks made me uncomfortable.


#577

On another note, can anyone recommend anything in particular to do/see Saturday afternoon and evening? We have non-refundable train and hotel bookings so fuck it we’re coming to London anyway but would like to make it somewhat worthwhile


#578

i really hate how these guys often have a well-considered and very articulate line of defence as soon as they’re outed, but seem to have made very little strides towards reconciling victims for past actions or resolving anything in private. you get called out, and at best you write a statement full of self-awarness and humility. i’m sure there’s stuff we don’t know etc etc. makes me feel sick


#579

Yeah same here, I was originally wondering about selling my tickets (although I think the gig could be pulled anyway) but I don’t really want to take money from someone who would want to go to this gig after all this has come out. Just gonna enjoy a weekend in London. It would be great if Martha put on a show themselves but I imagine it would be difficult to do something on short notice.


#580

Fuck. I took an internet break for a week and this was the first thing I saw when I came back on :frowning:

This is horrible. I wish all the best for the victims and their healing process. :fist:

It doesn’t seem surprising in retrospect when you listen BN lyrics that we thought were darkly self deprecating and now seem sinister and predatory. Also definately reminded of this well-known Jessica Hopper article from 2003 which encapsulated the misogyny of the scene in the early 00’s. http://www.rookiemag.com/2015/07/where-the-girls-arent/

Fuck Jesse and fuck the reddit fanboys defending him