It’s the first Christmas since my parents split. We’re spending today with my mum and tomorrow with my dad, who is spending today with his girlfriend and her kids. Just got this whatsapp to me and my siblings.
“Merry christmas to you! Amazing really to be so excited at my age…! ”
Last christmas we had as a family he actually sulked in his bedroom for 2 hours. Clearly his new family have allowed him to rediscover the joy of Christmas - he has all the tact of a marauding rhinoceros
Mum is cooking Christmas dinner and Dad is super butthurt that none of the grandparents noticed the hall and lounge have been redecorated or that we have a new front door. He is now fishing for compliments.
My dad is refusing to let anyone into the kitchen to do the washing up. Bet he moans later about how hard he’s had it today.
Can’t play any card games cause theres cards missing so my mam is drawing the missing cards!!! Not gonna work for poker, is it? She also told my brother off for moaning “think of the turkey that died for us today. and the pigs that died for you to have kilties, bacon AND sausagemeat on your plate” RIP TO THE TURKEY AND PIGS
Watching GBBO (they don’t usually). My dad was saying 10 mins ago that he didn’t give a shit about it but now he’s loving it and keeps commentating on it and saying wow
My Da has gone back to bed before going to work tonight. A twelve hour shift, yeeeesh.
My Mam is hanging out with my Nan in the kitchen. Mam has a sinus infection and can’t hear and my Nan is a bit deaf so they’re watching the ballet with the telly fucking BLASTING. It’s at US Army-psychological-warfare-against-Noriega volume levels in there.
my dad has expressed that the only thing he actually wants to watch this christmas is the screenwipe review of the year which isn’t even on before he goes back to work so we have to endure him changing the channel every 5 minutes and/or bbc rolling news
As usual, mum dominates the tv schedule. Watched the extended edition of gone with the wind and am now watching send the midwife, which I’m sure is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.
My dad just spent five minutes explaining why Rowan Atkinson is playing an English-speaking French police inspector in Paris. The main point of his argument was that nobody would understand him if he was speaking French.
Oh god, I’m enduring this shite too! It doesn’t need to be set in Paris at all. I think the ‘exotic’ location is to try and disguise how bland the main character is…
It would honestly make it a 100% more entertaining. ITV have so many crime dramas in a similar vein. If they added the 'Allo 'Allo accents and a bit of slapstick, it would certainly standout a bit more in their schedule.
Oh no! My Mam is sick as well, flu plus a sinus infection which meant she couldn’t taste the Christmas dinner she had made. Is your Mum feeling any better today?