Rules


#1

Do you set rules?


#2

Only ones that only apply to me and, as such, aren’t really rules.


#3

No TV in bed unless you’ve masturbated in the last 48 hours?


#4

wow sorry i dont know where that came from


#5

Exactly.


#6

that’s not a bad rule tbhtbf


#7

who has a tv in their bedroom these days?


#8

Rule #1: Roll me over and turn me around.
Rule #2: Let me keep spinning 'til I hit the ground.
Rule #3: Roll me over and let me go, riding in the rodeo


#9

But what if you really want to watch TV in bed?
And then you’re like "but did we have sex?"
and the answer is no
so you just go to bed anyway and most likely not have sex
then in the end, you’re just gonna do it for the sake of it for a free pass to watch tv in bed
YAWN


#10

you’re on top form today, meow!


#11

“this is not my 1st Rodeo”

someone at their 2nd rodeo

stole that from Twitter everyone


#12

No farting if the other person’s head is within a foot of the bum area.


#13

i strongly suspect this columnists friend is a fictional friend

I would have to make up loads of “friends” if I was a columnist


#14

#5: harden the fuck up


#15

it’s going to end in some pretty harsh feelings

person 1 - Think I’m going to watch the latest Better Call Saul in bed

person 2 - sorry, 48 hours since we banged. We need to bang 1st

person 1 - It’s OK, I think I’ll just stay here in the living room and watch BCS

person 2 - so you’d rather watch BCS then bang me?

that row is not going to be resolved by bedtime - and you would prob end up neither watching BCS or having sex


#16

You’d just end up doing a terrible sex at them so you could go watch your program, wouldn’t you. Maybe even on purpose for once.


#17

Rule #7 // Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.


#18

“well you’re hardly turning me on by referring to it as BCS”


#19

Really hate that I know exactly what you two dorks are referring to.


#20

Big Cuddly Sex