I look forward to posting a similar thread when I leave London for Spain in 3 month’s time with pretty much no job prospects lined up!
but anyway, no one can make this decision for you and either one might be a massive mistake or a great thing. just gotta roll with it - no one’s going to die.
Depends on Brexit a bit doesn’t it? I could postpone it, but then fear I’ll never make it back out there when there is more on offer there potentially.
It’s a good point with support network though, I barely have one in Berlin yet other than my partner and she’s been pushed to the absolute limit as a result 
Lucky for you I’m not suicidal or that last line could have been bad 
Good luck for Spain x
Definitely a chance yep, but I could at least regularly go to GP there. I can sort that in Germany now I have insurance etc although I owe literally my entire life to my partner who has basically paid for everything and I’ve kinda taken advantage of it… I guess the fear is I’d need to change in quite a big way and I’m not sure how feasible that is?
Yes both make sense and are true. I just fear staying in the UK now may mean I just end up staying. Which while isn’t the end of the world, isn’t exactly what I had planned
Do Germany pal, it sounds an awful lot like that you know deep-down that’s what you want but the fact it’s going to be hard is making staying an attractive option when realistically it isn’t?
Yeah totally get that. For what it’s worth I think that the way you are talking you probably want to stay in Germany - that’s what comes across. It might be pretty tiring and feel like a fight for a bit but I am sure you will make the best of it!
Moving country is so tough that you really have to be kind to yourself. I’ve found it really difficult in some ways moving abroad and still it feels like a battle sometimes, especially when you throw new jobs etc into the mix as well which are stressful wherever you are…and these things do take time to settle. I have a friend who moved to Stockholm at a similar time to me who is really struggling for similar reasons as you have laid out - the language, lack of routine (he isn’t working) and sudden disappearance of a support network that was always there for him. But actually it’s been a few months now and he is starting to get better, has found a job and started lessons etc…and taking those active steps has really helped him.
Dunno what I am saying here really, I guess it’s just that you need to do what is best for you and in some ways whatever you choose will be tough but there is always light at the end of the tunnel!
Well I think I’m terms of routine and taking a lot on, I’ve not really gone anything productive there so far (what I have has all been uk based still). Next month I’d do German classes in the morning then internship in the afternoon (for a month). Masters starts in October. So there’s a bit of a run up there with some structure.
It is my partner who at the moment very much thinks maybe being at my parents would be better simply because she can’t handle me relying on her all the time + being the closest to my varying states of mental health. In the uk I’d at least have access to NHS and a better support network to “start again” effectively and just try and deal with my own shit for a while. However it wouldn’t neccesarily give me the routine I clearly need because for the last year I’ve not had much in the way of work, often sleep late and have drank too much. So naturally these habits lead to days where I feel like shit, and will get super anxious, and then once I feel better I ignore them and repeat the cycle. I think the problem is being in Germany right now is lack of immediate support + heightened anxiety because I struggle with the language
Thanks! I’m not on meds, I’ve always tried to avoid them but I feel it is inescapable now. The only thing is I don’t have a g.p in uk currently or fixed address (I guess it’s in Norwich but I’m not there much at the moment)
Pretty much, yeah. There is also bigger issues in that my relationship is now in disrepute but my gf has made it clear she doesn’t want to break up, yet anyway, she wants me to get better (and not rely on her for almost everything) then decide.
If you do decide to go back to the UK/Norwich, you should be able to see your parent’s GP as a “temporary patient”. Failing that, check the NHS website for a local walk in centre wherever you end up.
That’s positive though right? She doesn’t want to break up and wants you to get better, presumably you both want the same things so there will be a way through it.
I think from what you’ve said here you need to find a routine for yourself in Germany, if it’s routine that makes staying here look like a good option then it’s far from impossible to introduce routine to your life over there. Cliched as fuck advice but even if it’s something like going for a run at a set time a couple of times a week, that has done absolute wonders for my MH over the last couple of years since starting. The booze won’t be helping anything at all either obviously but I don’t want to seem preachy about that. Try focussing on the tangible, achievable goals in every day life. Set an alarm even if you have nothing to get up for, go to bed at a regular time etc. It’s hard but you can create routine without there necessarily being a strict need for routine in terms of work etc.
sorry I’m a bit of a loser when it comes to these things so I can’t help you 
Just replying at all is good x
Even if I’m currently in Glasgow? Does it not need to be local?
100% Germany! Geez-oh
Yes, but this recent episode has started to put a doubt in my mind for the first time. This could be just that our relationship is unhealthy right now (and it’s largely my fault) but there’s also the issue that the last time I was in Norwich I was, lefts say, severely tempted and it’s a moment that’s haunted me since. I also feel guilty about being completely supported by partner only to later forget about that when I’m alone. These are things that can be worked on but it also adds to the confusion.
I do try and swim so far while in Berlin, but yeah doing things at certain times is important. As I say I’d have structure if I go back as scheduled in that I’d need to wake up in the morning to go to class. One of my partners terms is to basically stop drinking so…yeah it’s not a bad idea
Right, aye. I’m just wondering what I could maybe do in the meantime. Walk in centre I guess?
I think this is definitely a difficult situation. If you decide to stick with Germany, are you fully prepared for the stress of doing a masters and an internship? How will you manage financially? If you also need to work can you juggle all of those things on top of trying to sort out what is potentially a fragile relationship?
I guess a lot of it comes down to how resilient you feel you can be at the moment. It’s not going to be easy but if you’re prepared for that then maybe you can deal with it ok.
I’m reading between the lines but if you’ve fallen into some less than ideal relationship patterns how will you redress that? I hate to say it but what would you do if your relationship ended? Are you confident that you’d manage to then successfully complete your masters?
I know that all this^ sounds like I’m saying you should stay in the uk but I actually think that if you can consider all of the above and still want to go to Germany then you should do that.