Right so I met Linda for a coffee in the park and we go up to the hut thing to order and before I can open my idiot mouth to order a latte and a cappuccino this bloke with a camera pops out of nowhere and says “can I take your picture please? It’s for promotional shots for this cafe!” and I was instantly like oh please behave absolutely not, which came out as “uuuhhhhhhhrrrgggg” very quietly. But Linda being the absolute tart that she is was like “YEAH OF COURSE, COME ON ALEX!!” so I had to stand there and do the most pained smile ever and the guy is like “just relax! Smile! Look at the camera!” and I wanted to say LISTEN BUDDY I NEVER RELAX THERES BETA BLOCKERS IN MY HANDBAG FOR THAT VERY REASON but of course I’m pathetic so I just tried to smile more which made it worse, and Linda’s next to me posing with her reusable cup which they couldn’t even use cause pandemic and she’s loving life and I just made eye contact with the man serving and said through gritted teeth “this is my idea of hell.” and he nodded sympathetically OH AND IVE JUST REALISED I posed with my arm out with my card as if I was gonna tap the whatsit pay thingy so if they do use the photos and my god I hope they fucking don’t, well someone might see my card and steal my bank details and oh god why do these things happen to me I honestly don’t understand I’m gonna be cringing about this for weeks now and I won’t even know if they get used until I next walk past and there’s a poster up, cause he said it was gonna be a poster, AND GOD DAMNIT WHY I dont give off carefree vibes so why pick me why
