Why did none of the Welsh dissers let the rest of us know about this?!
Never related to anyone so much in my life
Christmas isn’t for another 11 months
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Will ye become a hermit, Kermit?
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I mean fair play, if you’re going to run off to anywhere in guilt after turning your lover into an ice sculpture, a small tidal island off the coast of Anglesey is a great bet.
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I already am 
The thing is, it already takes me a weirdly long time to get over ex partners, but I’m imagining my ex lover to be my cat. And if my cat became an ice sculpture I would simply hug her until she melted and then I would also die too. What is the point of living if I don’t have to chase her around the coffee table with a wet wipe in my hand every time she’s done a shit?
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I thought you were saying you imagine that your cat is a specific ex of yours, which would be a bit weird especially with the bit about chasing her around trying to wipe her bum. Now I’m reading it that you just meant that you imagine that you and the cat used to be lovers, which is, well I hope I’m taking it too literally
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West Ham legend
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Oh no, she’s not a specific ex, that would be insane.
To the other part though… well. We are bizarrely close and she does enjoy licking my tits a lot.
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Too busy shagging, sorry.
This is not in fact true
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