Saturday night early 2000s indie club which no one goes to but it plays better music than the other one and stops after about four months

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It’s probably called Sweatshirt or something.

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Also no one dances because you’re all just there to support the promoter who you vaguely know from college and so sort of recognise everyone and it makes you feel self conscious.

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The flyer is a collage from a 1980s Argos catalogue

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This is exactly the vibe I’m going for!

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Everyone you know is booked to do a DJ set there in the next six weeks. You grimly accept that you need to go to all of them or there’s a very real chance nobody will show up for yours.

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This band and Dananananakroyd are booked for later in the year and it’s DEFINITELY going to go ahead.

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I would like to go to this club night. Can I get on the Guestlist pls?

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Your choice of bottled beer is Desperados or Newcastle Brown Ale for some reason.

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Yes but only if you hand out some flyers after the Tellison gig next week.

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Yeah, no probs. Can spare an hour.

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Is this what you’re after?

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Gold Soundz was the one here.

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Oh, I just realised I was a DJ at one called Cactus!

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The drinks on tap all mysteriously run out at midnight and you have to spend the rest of the night buying bottles that cost twice as much for two thirds the drink.

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Best put some hits on or everyone is heading to Avondale before they shut.

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