Save the snails

Went for a walk. Lovely weather isn’t it, hope everyone is doing okay. I had a phase of being really fascinated with snails when I was about 5 many years ago.

On a currently quiet but relatively big road here I saw a snail pretty much in the middle of the road very slowly trudging across. As I walked on I thought, that road surface must be hot. Then I thought of the possibility a car could squidge the snail anyway and it really wasn’t moving quickly.

At this point I stopped, did a 180 degree turn, walked back to the snail, picked it up and carried it to a grassy area. I walked away feeling really good, really made me beam.

Save the snails.


Yeah, notorious for that. Very lazy species.


I have a veg garden.
Fuck snails. Drive over every last one



that’s horrible

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only learnt recently that snails actually have like organs and stuff under the shell and they’re not just basically a slug with a hat on


Yes, slugs don’t have them retracting eye things.

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Eat frogs legs!

Wear sunscreen.

Same. Slugs and snails can do one. Used to go out slug hunting with a sharp stick but now kids are older I just pellet. Still eat my dahlias.

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I did a long Zoom call in the garden the other night. I went to get my last beer and, barefooted, crushed a large snail. Awful. Never done it barefooted before.

Snail Police on their way right now.

Except them in 2023.


I’ve killed at least 7 snails in my garden during the lockdown due to sheer carelessness. With every crunch, a part of me dies inside.

I have done this in the past by accident also and know that awful hollow feeling.

When my son was one, in that very same garden, Ms. Marty looked away from him for a moment, heard that crunch and recoiled in horror as the remains of a snail dribbled down his chin.


I’m glad this is censored.

I have eaten snails (once) but that’s different.


So this involves driving around the garden?

That the point.

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Always pick snails up when they’re in peril, much to my daughter’s horror.

Didn’t Caitlan Moran put it in her open letter to her kids too? Always move snails out of harm :blush::two_hearts: