Screeds you've received

In honour of start a thread day and precipitated by the below coming in through our front door. Have you received any good screeds?

Disclaimer, I’ve not really checked it through for proper bad stuff, there’s 12 pages and it’s pretty dense

Snake head Vatican

Don’t threaten me with a good time

What is a screed

The one on the kitchen floor was quite good

Joke Drums GIF by Bax Music

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a long speech or piece of writing, typically one regarded as tedious.

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Seen a few screeds on here (or more accurately a few variations of the same one) this week.

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Understand Captain America GIF