Shittest lyrics of all time


So come on baby, won’t you show some class
Why do you have to move so fast?
We don’t have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance and party all night
And drink some cherry wine, oh

just for the cherry wine choice of drink really - who drinks cherry wine? No one that’s who


Canned Heat, Going Up The Country has;

I’m goin’ I’m goin’ where the water tastes like wine

If the water tasted like wine then I’d be straight on the phone to Severn Trent, pal




“My paragraph alone is worth five mics/A twelve-song LP, that’s 36 mics.”


Great song obvs but Don’t Let Go by En Vogue:
“If I could wear your clothes, I’d pretend I was you, and lose control”


Any number of Noel Gallagher’s lyrics, but this has to be worth some sort of award:

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball


he;s done some howlers , but that ones not that bad is it? I always assumed it was a bit of Lennon inspired nonsense


"An elephant never forgets, so my dick remembers everything."


That Maroon 5 song with its punishing, never-ending circular logic

'Cause girls like you
Run around with guys like me
'Til sundown, when I come through
I need a girl like you, yeah yeah


Probably any song by Bruno Mars on account of how rupturingly insincere they all are.


I’m sorry that I doubted you,
I was so unfair.
You were in a car crash,
And you lost your hair.



“You’re a child of destiny/You’re the child of my destiny/You’re my child with the child from Destiny’s Child”


Don’t Pass Me By! It’s the accent that makes it so fucking bizarre too I think.


such a bad/creepy song


See also:

So, now, now, now, now, now if you sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing
For the love you bring won’t mean a thing
Unless you sing, sing, sing, sing
Ah baby sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing
For the love you bring won’t mean a thing
Unless you sing, sing, sing, sing


All of this


Sorry to say the first half of Colossus by Idles, the clunky rhyming really puts me off. I like the end bit though (apart from the Jesus Christ bit).


OK then, back to bass-heads
Dance like you just won at the Special Olympics
They got the rudebox off the back of a spaceship
So sick I just had to take it
The R-U-D-E-B-O-X
Up your jacksy, split your kecks,
Sing a song of semtex
Pocket full of Durex
Body full of Mandrax
Are we gonna have sex (yes)
Do you wear your knee socks (ohh)
Back to the rudebox


The entirety of Do You Want To? by Franz Ferdinand. Just total guff. Catchy, mind.


One of many songs by The Killers should be in here.