I’m counting you as in, @colon_closed_bracket!

Four’s a quorum, town’s a-coming

Joke’s in too, five alive!

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Your town is…

BAMPTON.

Bampton.

I know someone who lives there!

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Then it looks like you might win!

I know

Brampton
Rampton

But … Bampton?

Nope, no idea

I’ve also had to make a complete guess

Peter Bampton

Not playing this round. Got Finding Nemo to watch

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There are THREE Bamptons

yes, unfortunately I can’t tell you which one I chose (I didn’t know this at the time of choosing Bampton, I picked it because I remembered it as a name on a map my brother and I always enjoyed as kids)

Actually I’ll stick with your special Bampton and hope it’s not the same as Laefs

I have employed a rule which makes sense of which bampton I’ve chosen, but I’m going to reveal that after @eems has answered so that I don’t prejudice people’s answers

Okay, so the answers are in! I can reveal that for disambiguation purposes I used the Bampton that comes up under that name and that name alone on Google Maps, so no suffixes or further definitions

Shambles!

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Last Place, which is a fine place to be, with Airdrie at 370 miles we have @colon_closed_bracket. Sorry for the confusion!

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In fourth place, creeping slowly southwards we have @SleepingCapybara with Carlisle at 246 miles. Sorry for the inconvenience!

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I see what you did there @colon_closed_bracket

Yes, going for Bampton in Cumbria obvs

In a mighty third with a guess so wild it wasn’t even sent in a PM referencing the thread title, it’s @AQOS with Brighton at 124 miles. Apologies for the smell.

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i’ll take that

In second place, with a truly inspired answer given that they don’t even actually know where the place they answered with is, it’s @eems with Solihull at 74 miles. Sorry for everything.