Sociability

#1

seems appropriate to post this on a friday night i suppose. how sociable are you? do you think you’re more or less sociable now than in the past? i’ve gradually realised i am quite unsociable these days, maybe cos it’s been a rough 18 months or so. i mean i still go for a drink w/ friends but i’m less inclined to talk to/get to know strangers. i think i come across as quite cold or distant. don’t mean to seem this way but how do you get the social groove back.

probably some polls to be had in this but idk

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#2

is there a poll or polls in this

  • yes
  • no

0 voters

#3

I am very bad at being sociable.

I’ve had the same friendship circle for 20 years and have rarely, if ever, been forced into scenarios in which I am able to operate socially outside that circle.

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#4

I’m not sure. I think I’m in a bit of a rubbish situation where I’m sometimes a bit too capable of being happy with being by myself to address feelings of loneliness, if that makes sense.

I’ve often found myself going to things with a mind to meeting / talking to people and then not being able to really do so. All my friendships tend to have started out accidentally, but in a way that makes them more meaningful, I guess.

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#5

Its hard enough for me

Not sociable at all. Really struggle with people i dont know and/or groups of more than a handful of people.

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#6

it’s very complicated. because anxiety. I’m naturally very social, but traumatic life stuff has made it very difficult to be social at all.

things have changed a bit in the past year and a half, but… yeah, complicated.

been feeling very anxious this evening, as it happens. but there have been times lately where I’ve felt really good socially.

all seems to hinge on my self-esteem. but also on love life stuff.

#7

make an effort when i need to, can have a nice chat with someone a friend has brought along for a pint or whatever.

definitely a bit shy and awkward a lot of the time though so often find myself avoiding chatting to people who i know a bit but not well enough for it to be natural and fine

#8

i go to loads of gigs on my own and i was fine with it when i didn’t really know anyone there but nowadays i half-know lots of cool musicy people but i’m not friends with any of them so i feel a bit more awkward. will sometimes end up having a nice pleasant short chat with one or two of them, other times i stand around feeling a bit paranoid pretending not to see them

#9

I enjoy socialising with strangers more than I do with people I know well these days. Not sure what that says about me, but know something’s not right.

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#10

ahhh same

was really great chatting to hostel people on holiday, but found myself feeling anxious around friends :confused:

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#11

think i’ve only really got a small number of friends that i feel totally comfortable with at all times. got a lot of friends who i get on really well with as part of a group and feel totally comfortable chatting away but when i find myself left alone with them i suddenly struggle a bit despite knowing them half my life

it’s often easier with people i haven’t seen in a long while cos there’s lots of natural catch up questions to ask

#12

Not at all. Used to go out and get drunk in company a lot but I’ve stopped that completely. Only have one friend who I’ve socialised with whilst sober in the last few years.

Miss a lot of university just because I can’t be arsed with being around people, which isn’t going to be a feasible tactic forever.

#13

I always feel guilty when this happens, like wanting to tell them it’s definitely not their fault but also not wanting to make the whole atmosphere stupid and awkward

#14

did a personality test, got 0% friendliness

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#15

I’ve always been quiet and awkward, but I’ve always had a small group of loyal friends I went to gigs with. But as everyones got older snd settled down I don’t see them much anymore.

I’m pretty terrible with strangers too, I keep meaning to go to a DiS meet, but I always pull out.

#16

Barely know how to talk to my friends, let alone strangers.

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#17

i’ve met a couple of DiSers but never been to a proper meet, not sure how i’d do. i’m far slower at coming up with stupid jokes irl

#18

Pretty unsocialable atm. Live in an area where I know nobody except the NCT group, and they’re not friends or some people I’d choose to socialise with. The closest ‘friends’ are work colleagues 30 miles away, and they’re not people I’d socialise with either. That leaves a group of ATDs from my hometown who I see maybe a handful of times a year, usually at weddings tbf, and a group of mates in London who I dont see too often. I’ve seen more Dissers in the last 6 months than I have my own mates.

Not really a problem doing the a socialising bit, perfectly chatty and not too anxious, sometimes get way too pissed to which has its own downfalls, but it’s actually getting out and doing stuff that’s my downfall atm. Tend to hang with my partner as she’s the only person I know in the city we live in, which has its benefits and downfalls

#19

I’m not very good at initiating but can just about reciprocate if someone engages with me, by my calculations that should mean I should have 50% sociability, but in practice it’s much less, I must put out some severe don’t talk to me vibes. Remember at college/uni didn’t befriend anyone in any of my classes, I can take responsibility for half of that on account of not starting any conversations, but no one started any conversations with me either, so feel justified in hating the world

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#20

I’m very social. More likely to speak to new people than my actual friends which is a bit of a mare at times

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