Social media accounts for pets

It’s really weird, isn’t it? Especially when it’s written in first person and they refer to the owner as ‘mummy’, etc.

  • Yes, undeniably weird.
  • I am weird, and I quite like this.
  • I am even weirder, and I have one of these accounts.

0 voters

I like this IF they don’t post lots of long statements from the pet’s point of view and refer to their owner as mummy or daddy or some shit

I follow a couple of absolutely great dogs on instagram


I thought it was a gradual process of domestication over tens of thousands of years, but this is plausible too i guess.


The only time this bothers me really is with a particular pet I know. He goes to every fucking pub and launch party in Manchester and whilst it’s not his fault he’s a popular guy I’m seething at his owners for using him as a way to go to the opening of a fucking envelope. Oh new bar opened has it? Any chance [redacted] was first there? Of course he was.

And his owners dress all twee and the dog looks fucking twee too.


STEVIE: man, your dog is really into the ethics of games journalism eh

DEVIE: yeah man, he’s totally principled

STEVIE: don’t know if we can be friends anymore

DEVIE: i always thought of us more as colleagues

STEVIE: mate we’re both unemployed

DEVIE: yeah but it’d feel so right firing you over a .pdf

STEVIE: this day’s gone in a different direction than i’d thought it was going to when i woke up this morning

DEVIE: what time did you get up

STEVIE: nine

DEVIE: yeah same


My old dog had a Facebook page and he was friends with all my pals and family members.


Anon poll

  • I have, in my life, referred to myself as “mummy” or “daddy” to a pet
  • No. Just no.

0 voters

I’ve only ever had brothers and sisters for pets.


I used to write laods of stories in school about me and my blonde sister. I was of course referring to our golden labrador Scooby.


It’s adorable!

This is cute and funny because you were a child.

I even put on a festival once and DIDN’T invite him and he was only in the fucking highlights video with his owner being interviewed wasn’t he? I wasn’t, my own festival, but he was.


Willie is my king.

And Calista is my queen.

I think they are both more magical than Mellon Collie era Pumpkins.

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If I had pets, they’d be more like a pal / amusingly-mismatched-but-ultimately-on-affectionate-terms-roommate than a child

tl;dr I want to get a cat so I can nod at the cat in a corridor and have someone around while I eat cereal and listen to music


Oh yeah that makes sense. Make wry comments to them, etc

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Oh-hoooo! Someone got lucky last night!

(and then I put the pigeon carcass in the bin)

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this is pretty much aspirational content

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“oh I guess Muggins here is going to have to buy some more Whiskas. Wouldn’t hurt to offer sometimes”

I was my dog’s brother. My mother and father were his parents obviously.


Muggins is actually a great name for a cat

or Moggins

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