Solo: A Star Wars Story


This had me chuckling this morning:


not always a bad thing but i think it’s considered better if you just write and shoot a good film in the first place


Fighting the good fight here my man. I respect you for getting Vader right, him just doing grunt work and going prequel with a lightsaber is very wrong indeed. He’s a slow monolithic menacing presence, always applying just the right amount of force (pun lol) in the right place to get his results. Stabbing grunts up close is not his style.


Yeah I love rogue one but the vader scenes are the weakest


And the last scene where he’s fucking shit up is great fun, but totally out of character and does the rest of the film a disservice in that it doesn’t make sense, this hero worship of a villain only briefly seen stops it from being a stand alone film. It would have been a better film without vader


I would have effectively had him in the Tarkin role and then used CGI Tarkin sparingly. I mean Tarkin out ranks him in SW so better than to show Vader ‘failing’ and then Tarkin coming in as the fixer.

But Vader in that role is much better. Just has to be brooding and menacing and we still have the voice and the suit so no uncanny valley moments


Yeah this would have totally worked better, could cut tarkin completely, lose the weird scene where yer man crybaby goes crying to Vader in his fucking secret palace lair or whatever, Vader could still fuck shit up at the end if you want and then it would make sense why crybaby was scared of him all the way through. Still, top 3 Star Wars films for me (empire > new hope > rouge > return > last > force awakens > clones > sith > I believe another film was made about podracing but I have no recollection of it)


podracing.> Rogue One




Even I can’t get behind this one


Darth Maul and Oates


I’m not gonna front like Reguo Oun wasn’t a fun romp with a sassy droid and cool callbacks to the other films and oh look it’s Riz Ahmed and oh look it’s Forrest Whittaker and finally there’s a gay couple and the whole final third when they got to the Empire planet continuously upped the stakes in a satisfying way and gave us one of the most visually exciting big smashy battles in all of Star Wars and it was great fun that the main villain was a harassed middle manager with a fabulously swishy cape and “oh my god my bosses are such massive pricks and everybody I’m in charge of is fucking useless” realness. But as a story it’s a bit of failure. You’ve got Gin who has almost no agency over the plot in any part of the film, spends the entire first half being led places at gunpoint until finally she gets pushed into a situation where she’s fed some motivation to make an out of character af speech about hope to clunkily move the plot to the set piece everybody’s paid their money to see. Then there’s the Diego Luna character who is so much of a non-character that there’s even a little scene stuck in there where he has to yell “yes I am a character, look at this backstory I have!”. The whole Forrest Whittaker chunk is a mess of self-contradiction, obvious reshoots, and nonsense beats that go nowhere. Then you got weird rubbery uncanny valley Tarkin, which is just pointless and not classy. Also wrong Vader, which we’ve covered.

Like I said, there’s definitely entertainment to be found in Rogue One, but you’re plan daft if you think it’s as good as one of the funnest N64 games there is.


Please elaborate. Thought he was the most interesting character in the film.


I find it hard to separate my absolute love of Whitaker from the fact his character felt wasted and wasn’t one I ended up really caring about.


He was definitely wasted but what screen time he had I found him pretty compelling.


Most interesting character in the film isn’t saying much at all, they’re all two dimensional and don’t change across the course of the film.

He just potters around doing nothing but serving as a block to keep us in a place where the film can set up its needlessly convoluted quest to give Gin a personal connection to why she wants to blow up the Death Star. He doesn’t affect the story in any way, he doesn’t change any of the characters or tell us anything new, he’s just an exposition dump to hint at some emotional at backstory for Gin which the film doesn’t actually want to put work into developing, and doesn’t matter anyway because she never makes any decisions to move the plot forward for the most part. The only time she makes a decision is when she decides to go to Empire world and nick the plans, she only wants to do that because her dad was exploited and thought the Death Star was bad, which we knew in the opening scene. The entire first half of that film is a meandering fetch quest where they go through along of chain of characters who all tell us they’ve done something off screen, and please progress to the next character for some dialogue to send you somewhere else. The Big Goron Sword quest from Ocarina Of Time is more compelling, at least some of the characters there are cartoonish and amusing.


They just played a Super Bowl ad, it’s out on Memorial Day, didn’t give a lot a way…


Here it is


Trailer for a trailer is just :joy: when all’s said and done. Fucking just put the trailer out.

Also: DURRRRS all over the soundtrack. STOP THIS ALREADY.


Big surprise as people who think the film will be shit think the teaser looks shit and people who hope the film might be good think the teaser is OK