Someone moved my car the other day



yeah, I went over to Darren’s with some cheescake as a peace offering (he didn’t want it, but that’s for another time)

he lives in this weird area which is part pedestrianised, so it was confusing what is the road and what isn’t. I just parked somewhere I thought was cool and went to dazza’s.

came out and my car was gone! what the fuck. stood there for ages wondering whether I actually needed a car anyway, then walked over to where my car used to be. as I got closer, I noticed it had been moved about 50 yards back.

I looked at the spot where there car was and it was in fact some sort of thoroughfare.

got into the car and looked over to my left hand side. there was a garage over there and a few guys hanging out. one guy gave me the nod as if to say ‘that was me who moved your car’

gave him the double thumbs up, got in the car and drove home

before you ask ‘how could someone possibly move your car?’ - the central locking mechanism doesn’t work anymore. I have nothing of value in the car, other than a tennis racquet on the back seat, so it’s not really worth fixing, is it

thanks for reading


About a decade ago, after an evening with some friends, we came back to our parked car to find that it was at roughly a 45 degree angle to the kerb (having parked it sensibly). At first I thought someone had ploughed into it but there was no damage.

Anyway, I told a few friends about this and apparently our car had been “bounced” - which involves a group of people rocking and bouncing the car until the rear wheels came off the ground, then gradually turning it sideways.

Why anybody would do this is beyond me. We were parked in a quiet cul-de-sac of a quiet village. Weird.

Can’t shed any light on why they’d move your car though, @bird man


um, thought I made it clear. sorry.

I was parked in a position which meant many, many cars were stuck until I’d done my business in Darren’s


Ah yeah, so you did.


yeah, we used to do this as kids. six kids are all you need to ‘bounce’ a car into another position. no damage done to the car. in retrospect, it was a bit silly and probably quite dangerous

the crazier kids used to just flip a car over on its side - I was not so keen on this



Ahhh to be a teenager again

You have an exciting and varied life.


How did they move the car?


I didn’t read past the cheesecake bit.

You live such a weird life. You seem to be always getting into beeves with your mates and giving them shit like cheesecake to make amends.

What did you do do dazza again?


i’m assuming take the handbrake off and roll it back. I have that locking thing on the steering wheel, but always forget to put it on


Your wheel is still locked without the key in, isn’t it?

They must have picked it up

Edit: should have read the full post but CBA


Her name was jesus
And for her, everyone cried


nah. this is not true. darren smoked some hash and got crazy paranoid that we were all laughing at him. we were, because he was saying dumb stuff, but not in a harsh way.

I was so high that night I couldn’t even set up the dvd player for Curb marathon. don’t give a shit!

I went round to Darren’s to discuss why he is like this and to reassure him we are all idiots really.

this thing had been bothering me greatly, I can tell ya. felt sorry for the kid.

we discussed why he might possibly feel this way and he says he doesn’t like to appear stupid around people. I asked him if there was something traumatic that had happened in his childhood that might have triggered these ultra sensitive feelings. he drilled back and remembered a situation once every kid in the class laughed at him when he got a simple maths question wrong. he had completely forgotten about that incident until that point.

we talked about this a bit more and then I went home. hopefully I’ve sown some positive jazz thoughts into his fragile mind. one being maybe get some CBT.

so yeah


Cheesecake details, please.


A few of us were once boxed into a space in a car park by some idiot who had parked directly behind us (we were in a parking space, they weren’t).

We asked around if it was anyone’s car for them to move it, but no joy, so we shoved it out of the car park and drove on our way.


my car is twenty years old. you can move it without the key


took cheescake round, as you do. he pulled up his top, tapped on his stomach to indicate that he has put on some weight, told me he had put on some weight then said he didn’t want the cheesecake.

this has bothered me a bit. I was raised in such a way that you gratefully accept any gift from a friend - even a plate of steaming shit.

the funny thing was, I had a look at his bin, which was overflowing and there were burger boxes, empty tins and other assorted shitty food stuff.


Everything in this thread should be on DiSquotes


Yeah but, what kind of cheesecake? Homemade, store bought? Flavour? Base consistency? etc


dunno now man. something from the reduced section in sainos. seemed to be just cheese and cake. no fruit or shit


Got two parking stories.

Was at Five Lamps sitting at the back, which is a very small car park. Some woman drove in an obviously full car park and just parked in the middle, making it impossible for all but one car (which would need to reverse into a busy road) to leave. When she walks in past us my mate shouts “I’m not sure thats sensible” and she gives us a shitty look and walks in. Guys comes out 10 minutes later, asks us who it was and returns with her sheepishly in tow. Shouts at her as she gets in and struggles that shes a ‘stupid twat’. He was right.

Second is my brother gets pissed at a pub, and turns up the next day with his van disappeared. Starts walking back home and realises its half a mile down the road. The Landlord has taken his keys at the end of the night, driven it to a spot that won’t be ticketed AND chucked a pheasant in the back as he’s such a good lad.