Spreading your ashes

Realise this can be a sensitive topic so please bear that in mind.

A family friend passed away earlier this month. He’s lived in my hometown for ages, but is originally from Athens, and went back there a lot. He was also a huge Olympiakos fan - in fact he was, when he was younger, a big figure in the Gate 7 Ultras. He’s requested that his ashes are spread on the pitch, which is apparently going to happen later this year. It made me think, where I might want my ashes spread if I had to choose, and I have no idea - there’s no where that means as much to me as Olympiakos clearly meant to him.

Have you ever thought about it?

I really don’t care what happens to my remains or at my funeral. Not for me is it.

Maybe that’ll change when I’m older idk


Probs just donate whatever scientists could use, I guess

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Well it’s not going to change when you are younger.

(is it cool to pedantically belittle Aggpass in this thread?)

Actively encouraged.

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That does seem potentially problematic.

I’ve told my mother to not repatriate my body if I die on my bike trip as I’m not getting insurance and it will be costly

She is refusing to comply with my wishes


A very close mate of ours died really unexpectedly 4 years ago and we spread his ashes in Epping Forest. I was a bit eye-rolly about it (Would he want his ashes spread there? Would he care?) but when it came to it I actually got totally choked and couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Not really thought too much about it for myself… I’d maybe demand that they were kept in a really ostentatious urn, on view at all times.

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If I should die think only this of me
There is some corner of a foreign field that is forever bike wanker

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It came up in convo this week with my bf.

I said i’m not sure where i’d want to be scattered but I said I’d put a tiny bit of him in every hole on the golf course. He said no don’t do that, just lob me on the fairway.


“A nice gentle par 4, not too close to any sand traps”.

You can donate your whole body you know.
They can leave you out somewhere to decompose and then it helps them learn how long people have been dead for or how long it takes for vultures to peck you gone.

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I didn’t think to suggest mixing him into a bunker.

Might mix him into a bunker!


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The People’s Pyramid for (a portion) of me:


Oh yeah that was on the criminal podcast. Dunno if there’s one over here. Would leave all decisions up to my next of kin. Funeral is for them not me, they can do what they want, I’m dead anyway


I’ve always said to the TV that I want to be cremated as soon as possible after death - no carrying me into the crematorium in a box to be sent through the curtains on that conveyor belt thing. Then just scatter me around the Lake District - Langdales is fine.

My understanding is that medical science frequently declines the kind offer of people’s bodies. So then you’re back to square one.

Me and Mrs F made wills last month so this did come up. I opted for cremation on a whim and she left her options open. When the time comes I don’t gaff where my ashes go, on the compost heap would be fine. I remember a few years back when my granddad died my dad wanted to throw his ashes in the river in Norwich for some reason, so we all went down there on a chilly winter morning, but we didn’t do it because for some reason god knows. So bear that in mind: once your rellies have got over your death, then your funeral, they’d probably not appreciate having to jump through yet another hoop to toss your dust in the wind on some inaccessible hilltop.

Mix my ashes with a big bag of chalk and divide it up between my friends so I can help them climb.

OR throw them in the face of my mortal enemy.

Not really, put them in the bin for all I care. I’ll be dead. If it’s important to family/friends to scatter them somewhere, then I trust them to choose somewhere nice.

(sorry if this is insensitive to anyone - not intended)