Spreading your ashes

what a conversation to have with yr mam

i remember scattering my grandad at a spot where he liked to go fishing. either my grandad or my uncle

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My dad got in touch with the council to ask if he could scatter his mum’s ashes over a local beauty spot. They said no as it’s technically fly tipping. He has done it anyway, albeit late in the evening when no one else was around to see

I saw an interview with David Seaman once about this very topic. He said, “Just lob me on the goal line.”

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I would like my ashes frozen until a time where science has evolved to be able to create a kind of superpower ash man.


SOme in cubicle 1 at the toilets at work, rest on the sofa at home

This gives me a good idea.

I would like my ashes to be thrown in the face of someone feeding bread to ducklings on St James’s Park lake. This is my last will and testament.


my friend is in this :slight_smile:

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Me and my mates always say “spread my ashes on the penalty spot at the stretford end” at the start of any long drinking session

Bit daft but what we all want I think

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Off the end of the pier and into the sea for me I think. Can’t be any worse than any of the other rubbish that’s floating in the sea at Brighton

How do you go about donating your body to science, you have to give permission before you die for at least some things I think? The kind of thing that I should really look in to.

Don’t mind where my ashes go really. Just none of those glass memorials please.

We still have to surreptitiously scatter some of my gran’s ashes in the rose garden at Regents Park some time. Adult humans make a lot of ashes really so it is difficult to put them all in one place if you don’t have permission.

also want my ashes scattered in the Karaiskakis Stadium

I’ll tell Kingfield to stand down.

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on second thoughts, make it the six crossroads roundabout. my family can pay for a 1 year sponsorship deal with it too

I can salute every Mon-Thurs morning too (if I outlive you and never change my job).


My mum had some of hers spread on her parents’ grave and then some in Robin Hoods Bay where her and my dad used to go on holiday a lot. Have no idea where I’d want mine, I’d be happy with a carrier bag under the stairs tbh.

i want to be put on display like lenin


I’d like a humanist funeral. No hymns and vicars pretending they knew me or owt, just loads of people in fancy dress, a quick ta-ra and a couple of grand behind the bar in a really shit pub, with instructions to throw my ashes off a bridge which is unbeknownst to them extremely windy and logistically quite challenging.

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don’t think we really do cremations in the Catholic church so i’ll probably be buried. might prefer to be cremated though just to make sure i’m definitely dead

Excellent turn of phrase