I’ve had an original idea for a thread based on squeezing.

What is your limit for squeezing avocados or maybe cookies that you want to be soft? Will you squeeze the lot until satisfied or set yourself a 3-4 arbitrary limit?

Thanks because I would like to know.

I assume the Ocado person squeezes them for me.

I don’t really squeeze any products pre-purchase

Man in the market gets annoyed if you squeeze too many advos

You must have some pretty shit avos, pal.

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I don’t really like avos

That has worked out well.

I will squeeze various fruits and also bread products.

Something something innuendo something


My main criteria when purchasing bread is to look for the loaf with the biggest crusts.

(You can sing “look for the loaf with the biggest crusts” to the tune of “look for the girl with the broken smile” if you want to, not a big deal if you don’t fancy it though)

If you aren’t squeezing Sainsburys Taste The Difference cookies before purchasing you’re a mug and I hope you enjoy your horrible hard cookie


then you’re really up the junction

which junction?

I’m afraid I do not know this musical reference. I could instead listen to something by DJ Krust.

Answer the fucking question, dino!

things I’m really fussy about buying:

salmon (don’t really squeeze but will look for the best fillet)

it goes “look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay a while and she will be loved and she will be loved and she will be loved and she will be loved”

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I often find that I start squeezing with no real plan in mind. So I’ll start squeezing avocados, moving up and down and along, but then not spending any time thinking about whether the one previously, or previous to that was the better one. Then there’s colour. Too green but quite soft? too dark and maybe too soft?
Think I want an area to line them all up on a sliding scale and also by colour preference

I dislike being hugged so will aggressively bear hug anyone trying it on to dissuade them in future

We listened to Every Rose has its Thorn as a family last night.

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too soon!