SSP: getting over things you like being associated with people who hurt you

how

how do you do it

how do you do it?

is it even possible? have you ever managed it?

what things can you not listen to/watch/do/contemplate anymore?

I find the trick is to re-associate them with good people. Deliberately go to those places or do those things with people you like until it’s overwritten the bad memory.

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If I have managed it its been on making the thing meaningless and emotionless which seems worse than never having it again.

Couldn’t listen to a favourite band of mine for so long then when I realised I could again it was because I’d blocked out all emotion entirely not just the ones about the person. Never listened to them again after that.

Now it’ll be a thing/place/somg that i barely registered at the time then it totally floors me out of the blue.

I thought that.

like, The Simpsons, for all the back and forth about it on here or the wider internet, it’s something that was at the core of me, something that brought me true happiness and laughter

and it was central to a profound but now severed connection

I figure maybe I could watch it again with a close friend of mine. that’s all I can really think to do.

I hope it works, but I don’t know if I can untangle such a deep association

it’s horrible, isn’t it

and that feels like all you can do, nuke that part of you from orbit, like you’ll never feel those good feelings again

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I’ve found it takes multiple go-overs and some time, but you can overwrite the connection, or at worst make it no longer solely connected with that person.

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I think this is the worst time to be feeling like this about things, too. because for all intents and purposes, I’m isolated.

so now until life goes back to normal is factored into that time

have you ever considered treatment for PTSD?

I’m awaiting that myself. hoping to get EMDR eventually.

I haven’t. I’m sort of happy with my lot at the moment mh wise in that a) my depression has been replaced with anxiety (and ocd and paranoia) but that’s 100% preferable to the lifetime of utter woe b) I’ve become detached from everything, so even though I can’t say I’ve ever felt love for M for instance I also don’t feel that i need or want love and so i feel protected from things that could hurt me.

In a total ignorance is bliss state and worried about all the stuff I might unlock if I try to treat anything. Obviously bliss is overstating it massively :smile:

Let me know how you get on though and I’m sorry you’re having a tough time.

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I feel that. I feel awful, but I’m not really able to feel love for my nieces most of the time.

like, I love them objectively, in that I’d do anything for them, but I mostly can’t let my guard down.

I like the sound of your sort-of bliss, anyway. I wish we could feel safe being open, but :upside_down_face:

I think I just need more nice things in my room :thinking:

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this is a thread for more than just my sadness, and I hope people might feel free to join in x

just posted in the YLT and suddenly remembered when I realised the person who used to be my friend but turned out to be really nasty had a surprising mutual like of YLT, and I shared my favourite song with them and they were really happy for it

it’s hardest when you remember the sweet moments