Standard Office Banter


#1

You’re standing next to a window, staring out for a bit.
“Don’t do it!”

Other examples.

I’ve eaten too much and this thread should just help us coast for an hour.


#2

‘Anyone want a drink?’
‘Yeah I’ll have a G&T please ahahahaha’


#3

‘Afternoon!’ when someone comes in at 9.05


#4

“5.30?! I’ll be in the pub by then!”

(then go home alone)


#5

‘Morning’ when someone leaves for the day, forgets something and comes back in the room.


#6

Some joke about [[female name]] being [[male persons]] name… AT WEEKENDS!!11


#7

all my office banter is pretty much about shitting in the shower. we haven’t had a shower for long and I can’t help making jokes about shitting in it.


#8

Or if they leave for an errand, and forget something. “That was quick!”


#9

“Half day?/Part Timer!” when someone leaves at 4pm.


#10

that’s a particularly loaded one.


#11

Me: How’s it going?
Them: Living the dream.

(theres about 3 people who’s answer is ALWAYS living the dream when you ask how they are)


#12

hiding under the desk when kasabian are mentioned


#13

No one else wants a brew

Some twat: “Hmm, cheap round then!!!11!!”


#14

‘See you next year!’ on 31st December.


#15

“You’re fired.”
“Hahahahaha, good one.”
“No, I’m serious. Pack up your desk.”


#16

Yeah, one of my guys has been answering as such for 10years solid


#17

This is so loaded with sadness that ‘my life hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to’


#18

i probably say this a lot.

my patter is pretty shite tbf


#19

Yeah, I guess there’s also the ‘I don’t know what to say to you so here’s the stock answer’ option.

When asked how was my weekend I usually answer ‘over too soon, amirite’, because nobody really
wants to know how your weekend went.


#20

You come in a little late the morning after a boozy work do.

“Good night, was it?”