Standard Office Banter

You’re standing next to a window, staring out for a bit.
“Don’t do it!”

Other examples.

I’ve eaten too much and this thread should just help us coast for an hour.

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‘Anyone want a drink?’
‘Yeah I’ll have a G&T please ahahahaha’

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‘Afternoon!’ when someone comes in at 9.05

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“5.30?! I’ll be in the pub by then!”

(then go home alone)

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‘Morning’ when someone leaves for the day, forgets something and comes back in the room.

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Some joke about [[female name]] being [[male persons]] name… AT WEEKENDS!!11

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all my office banter is pretty much about shitting in the shower. we haven’t had a shower for long and I can’t help making jokes about shitting in it.

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Or if they leave for an errand, and forget something. “That was quick!”

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“Half day?/Part Timer!” when someone leaves at 4pm.

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that’s a particularly loaded one.

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Me: How’s it going?
Them: Living the dream.

(theres about 3 people who’s answer is ALWAYS living the dream when you ask how they are)

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hiding under the desk when kasabian are mentioned

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No one else wants a brew

Some twat: “Hmm, cheap round then!!!11!!”

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‘See you next year!’ on 31st December.

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“You’re fired.”
“Hahahahaha, good one.”
“No, I’m serious. Pack up your desk.”

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Yeah, one of my guys has been answering as such for 10years solid

This is so loaded with sadness that ‘my life hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to’

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i probably say this a lot.

my patter is pretty shite tbf

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Yeah, I guess there’s also the ‘I don’t know what to say to you so here’s the stock answer’ option.

When asked how was my weekend I usually answer ‘over too soon, amirite’, because nobody really
wants to know how your weekend went.

You come in a little late the morning after a boozy work do.

“Good night, was it?”

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