Standard Office Banter


You’re standing next to a window, staring out for a bit.
“Don’t do it!”

Other examples.

I’ve eaten too much and this thread should just help us coast for an hour.


‘Anyone want a drink?’
‘Yeah I’ll have a G&T please ahahahaha’


‘Afternoon!’ when someone comes in at 9.05


“5.30?! I’ll be in the pub by then!”

(then go home alone)


‘Morning’ when someone leaves for the day, forgets something and comes back in the room.


Some joke about [[female name]] being [[male persons]] name… AT WEEKENDS!!11


all my office banter is pretty much about shitting in the shower. we haven’t had a shower for long and I can’t help making jokes about shitting in it.


Or if they leave for an errand, and forget something. “That was quick!”


“Half day?/Part Timer!” when someone leaves at 4pm.


that’s a particularly loaded one.


Me: How’s it going?
Them: Living the dream.

(theres about 3 people who’s answer is ALWAYS living the dream when you ask how they are)


hiding under the desk when kasabian are mentioned


No one else wants a brew

Some twat: “Hmm, cheap round then!!!11!!”


‘See you next year!’ on 31st December.


“You’re fired.”
“Hahahahaha, good one.”
“No, I’m serious. Pack up your desk.”


Yeah, one of my guys has been answering as such for 10years solid


This is so loaded with sadness that ‘my life hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to’


i probably say this a lot.

my patter is pretty shite tbf


Yeah, I guess there’s also the ‘I don’t know what to say to you so here’s the stock answer’ option.

When asked how was my weekend I usually answer ‘over too soon, amirite’, because nobody really
wants to know how your weekend went.


You come in a little late the morning after a boozy work do.

“Good night, was it?”