Pfft, obviously.

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To my eternal shame, I made this joke about my boss to his boss yesterday.

This just made me shiver

Last working day before Christmas/New Year: “See you next year!”

It’s fine. It’s inevitable. Can’t be helped.

“Can you help me with this?”

“Saying it’s for you…no”

Came in to post this.

“Any good at Excel, are they?!”

Wanders off.

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“Thanks for coming in!”

When some leaves the office on the buzzer.

I’d always thought office based dissers were working in cutting edge young people’s offices with similar types of people’s, and I was jealous, but this helps a lot.

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This isn’t quite bants, but my ex-colleague was devoid of a personality.

Mon-Wed noon his only chat was ‘Have a good weekend?’
Wed noon-Friday - ‘Up to anything this weekend?’

Every week for 10 years.

10 depressing, murderous-thoughts-inducing-years.

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Someone is sitting in X’s chair.

Literally everyone who passes by: “Oooh, X is looking rough today!!!111lol!”

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“How was your weekend?”
“Good good. Too short!”
“Ha. Yeah. Always!”
“Yes. Always goes too quickly…”
“…”
“…”
“Shall I leave the milk out or…”
“Thanks. Bye!”
“Bye”

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My office normally just does “oh hello X, didn’t recognise you for a moment there”

I’ve realised I’m really poor at standard banter…so my tactic is to answer earnestly until I see an obvious tap in…then I fill my boots.

I’m life’s Ruud van Nistelrooy

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This, like much of the above induced a wince of recognition.

Never worked in an office but when I was working in a department store there was one woman who’d greet every single delivery driver with ‘oh no thank you not today, we’re not interested HAHAHA’. And we had a lot of deliveries.

IMG_2022

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This is me. :neutral_face:

I got some odd looks for pointing out that the upcoming bank holiday and the departure of Year 11 thereafter means that we only have 2 full teaching weeks left until September.

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Also the C U Next Tuesday hhhhhhaaas haaaa brigade

Yep, reading this is like “what a daft thing to say… oh yeah, I do that” :slightly_frowning_face: