#46

Came in to post this.

“Any good at Excel, are they?!”

Wanders off.

1 Like
#47

“Thanks for coming in!”

When some leaves the office on the buzzer.

#48

I’d always thought office based dissers were working in cutting edge young people’s offices with similar types of people’s, and I was jealous, but this helps a lot.

5 Likes
#49

This isn’t quite bants, but my ex-colleague was devoid of a personality.

Mon-Wed noon his only chat was ‘Have a good weekend?’
Wed noon-Friday - ‘Up to anything this weekend?’

Every week for 10 years.

10 depressing, murderous-thoughts-inducing-years.

2 Likes
#50

Someone is sitting in X’s chair.

Literally everyone who passes by: “Oooh, X is looking rough today!!!111lol!”

3 Likes
#51

“How was your weekend?”
“Good good. Too short!”
“Ha. Yeah. Always!”
“Yes. Always goes too quickly…”
“…”
“…”
“Shall I leave the milk out or…”
“Thanks. Bye!”
“Bye”

6 Likes
#52

My office normally just does “oh hello X, didn’t recognise you for a moment there”

#53

I’ve realised I’m really poor at standard banter…so my tactic is to answer earnestly until I see an obvious tap in…then I fill my boots.

I’m life’s Ruud van Nistelrooy

2 Likes
#54

This, like much of the above induced a wince of recognition.

#55

Never worked in an office but when I was working in a department store there was one woman who’d greet every single delivery driver with ‘oh no thank you not today, we’re not interested HAHAHA’. And we had a lot of deliveries.

#56

IMG_2022

3 Likes
#57

This is me. :neutral_face:

I got some odd looks for pointing out that the upcoming bank holiday and the departure of Year 11 thereafter means that we only have 2 full teaching weeks left until September.

3 Likes
#58

Also the C U Next Tuesday hhhhhhaaas haaaa brigade

#59

Yep, reading this is like “what a daft thing to say… oh yeah, I do that” :slightly_frowning_face:

#60

The guy most likely has crippling social anxiety…and is most troubled by thoughts of his colleagues calling him “devoid of personality” on a popular music forum @safetywink

#61

If someone’s overslept…

“Was it 2-for-1 all night in Wetherspoons then?”

“I don’t know where you put it all, must have hollow legs”

“Hope you didn’t sleep in them clothes”

“Got a bit of chilli sauce down your shirt there…”

“Got you some paracetamol…”

(Obviously you’re relying on your boss having some sort of sense of humour and nobody having an actual drink problem…)

#62

Appreciate the safety wink. But it’s all good. He really is a dullard.

1 Like
#63

When someone’s handing payslips out and makes out one of them is really heavy.

4 Likes
#64

“I’ll carefully file it in the B folder”
~throws paperwork in bin~

2 Likes
#66

File it under B1N

1 Like