Stupidest talents- toilets!

Replaced a toilet seat on the weekend.

The previous one was cracked and it got worse and worse until it got to the point where when I’d stand, it’d be pinching my thigh which was unpleasant.

Did it with no problems on the whole, was quite happy with the operation. New one’s a soft-closer too, welcome to 2020.

Found out a fascinating thing too. Was Googling where the best place to piss into a Dutch / German toilet was, only to discover that they’re supposed to be sitty down toilets! You’re not meant to piss into them standing up! Can’t believe it’s taken me all this time to discover this.





Kerms is already on the warpath today. Can’t believe you’d do this


Can’t believe you would try and conflate German and Dutch toilets. German scheissers are in a league of their own!

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Will never understand the shit shelf on Dutch toilets. Horrifying.


Zizek would have a lot to say about that toilet.

less splashback

Have you never experienced the trauma of shitting on a Dutch toilet, kermo?!

Your delivery lands on a little holding bay for some reason, maybe to allow you to inspect it before wishing it away


Very odd.


European metaphysics isn’t it, sit over and think about what you’ve done, mein gott


I was just reading this article about Dutch toilets!

In his lecture on toilets and ideology, philosopher Slavoj Zizek, who specialises in ideology and materialism, points out that each society seems to have their own system and each feels their system is best.

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There is a little celebratory trumpet sound upon completion, but other than that, no.

Sounds like it’s good for identifying health issues and so on.

Would be good to have in the UK in places where you need to give a stool sample, tbf. Could just scoop it out, like.


How do you give a stool sample? Haven’t ever thought about this before

EDIT: not you specifically, how does one give a stool sample

EDIT2: didn’t someone on here once tell a story about someone shitting in a tupperware and giving the WHOLE SHIT to the doctor as they misunderstood the sample part?



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Ooof. Can’t imagine putting something that I had fished out my own faeces back in my mouth :grimacing:

Are you not thinking of a Ryanair flight?

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Ah yes of course! My bad

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I have examined my own excrement (hands on, not visually)

  • Yes
  • No

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That seems really inefficient. I’d have just bitten the bullet and lined my hand with bog roll, defecated directly onto it and rolled it in its entirety between my thumb and forefinger.