Sub-3.0 pitchfork reviews

Four Fingered Fisherman tho

I’m sure it’s all good. Can’t stand the Modest Mouse guy’s yelpy small dog voice

every Pitchfork zinger is backed up by 10-15 clangers, like “There’s no doubt that Sheeran is calculating, but then he told you as much in his album titles (÷ , 2014’s x , and 2011’s +)”

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I think I only had five:

The Mars Volta - Frances the Mute
Jimmy Eat World - Futures
The Getup Kids - Something to Write Home About
Nine Inch Nails - The Fragile
Tool - Lateralus

Frances the Mute remains one of the best albums of the decade. So many incredible moments.

Futures is very, very enjoyable outside of two songs.

I’ll back Something to Write Home About too. While it’s not something I really listen to now in my late 30s, it’s excellent for what it is and I still think that Close to Home is a perfect song.

I haven’t listened to The Fragile in years and have forgotten most of it, but I remember it being good (if a bit too on the nose lyrically at times) and We’re In This Together Now automatically makes a Sub-3.0 rating BS.

I loved Lateralus when it came out but kind of went off of it. The only real issues I have with it (aside from the way Tool fans responded) are the clunkiness of the lyrics and that part in The Patient where he dramatically whispers. Still a great album.

I’ve got (or used to own) five of these.

Frances and Lateralus have both been covered already - I don’t think either is amazing but also not as bad as the score here.

Audioslave wasn’t very good.

The Tricky EP is OK - better than some of his post-2000 stuff but terrible compared to the first two.

I can’t remember the other one.

0.0 with a gap year student strumming an acoustic guitar to an applauding crowd of fellow gap yah admirers, then pissing into his own mouth.

The applause then continues and becomes 700 times louder.

5 Likes

Oh, and I had that Brassy album in there too, which although isn’t the best album ever released, it was a lot of dumb fun. Saw them support Soulwax in Leeds in 2000 or something daft. Not life changing, but was enjoyable enough for a 17 year old me.

2 Likes

Schreiber’s semi-favorable review, which begins in earnest after a six-paragraph preamble comprising a long list of baroquely rendered, seemingly unrelated anecdotes peppered with obscure references

Always enjoyed this very accurate description of 00s Pitchfork

6 Likes

Like what the fuck are the first 2 paragraphs about here

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I think the band might have limped on if not for that review. It seemed to open the floodgates for absolutely eviscerating reviews - and when you hear the singer talk about it now, it’s clear he’s still not quite over the reaction.

I guess it’s pretty brutal to go from being a darling to a disgrace.

Ian Cohen is someone whose writing I often like, and who’s led me to good stuff - but he has a real habit of getting nasty and personal sometimes. He did with Gaslight Anthem, arguably helping to end their career, and his review of the last Frightened Rabbit album likewise felt unnecessarily vindictive.

Wasn’t a big fan of their last album myself but some of his comments in that review have aged very badly given what’s happened since

And I know that is part of what annoys me, and that is entirely unfair to say, so I try to be even handed about my response.

I’m listening to The Fragile right now for the first time in ages. Genuinely don’t know how anyone can think it’s not good.

I mean there is his nursery rhyme rapping

I put A Great Wind No Ash on the first mix i did for my now wife :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::heart_eyes:

2 Likes

Big Catherine Wheel fan so disappointed to see them on here although WIshville was a notably poor album - Definitely a band of two halves - if they ever reform (which I hope they do; they were strong live) hope they do a Ride and stick to the early stuff.
Ferment (9.6), Chrome (9.5) (and great b-sides from these LPs), Happy Days (7.1), Adam and Eve (4.9), Wishville (4.0 - 1.7 seems overly harsh).

Because starfuckers inc exists

Feel like ‘hasn’t aged well’ should be reserved for kind of zeitgeisty stuff which isn’t good removed from it but everyone loved at the time.

I don’t think anyone but hardcore Oasis fans thought Heathen Chemistry was any good.

It’s you who’s aged well in realising, IMO

Damian Rice - 9 is probably in my top 50 albums.

Eels Shootenanny and Ben Folds Way to Normal are both enjoyable albums.

Also Ok:Go debut has some great songs on it.

Actually might check out a few more albums on the list. If pitchfolk give an album a sub 3 score, probably more chance I’ll like it , than if they have it a 9+.

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