gonna call my memoir ‘my life as a series of caves’
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everything can fuck off and i’m going back to bed
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He was licking my arm like mad so in retaliation I licked him on the head. Never seen a dog run away so fast.
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That’s the spirit!
mate, that shite is poison
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feels good though
morning DiS
it’s absolutely pissing down through here. not that I was planning on doing very much anyway. still gubbed from bicycling yesterday. cafe for 
+ 
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I’m about to go food shopping, pm me your address and I’ll post you some scotch goodies to have for breakfast instead.
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My bf stayed out til 6am after me going home at 1am. He ended up at some party house and this dog was there which he started stroking for a while but then he discovered it had a dog tit on it’s back and has since been traumatised by the memory of it. Stroked his tit kill me now.
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Just worked out I have approximately 3x the serving size the nutrional info is given for on the bran flakes box. Who is having 30g bowls of cereal?
Got a date, should really have got a haircut and sort my scruffy beard out but CBA.
Nothing to do until then.
is he 100% sure it was a dog
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Going along to support the Tonbridge Ladies team this afternoon for the first time - been wanting to go for ages so really looking forward to it 
Got lots of tidying to do, but #pumped because today is my Saturday 
My dad is still ripping the piss out of my brother for his chunderfest the other day. We’ve started calling him The Jaegermeister and he hates it.
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Morning all!
Coffee and toast with biscuit spread for breakfast. It’s my standard choice at the moment.
I was planning to spend the day drinking beer and watching NFL on the TV but BBC appear to be showing a range of antique and property auction shows instead. I’m not working tomorrow so definitely drinking the beer alongside [activity].
This does sound a bit like that old threat about being here to kick ass and chew gum, and being all out of gum.
I think the real question is how big are your bowls?
My standard portions are in the region of 40g.
Being dragged into town to go shopping by Mrs Fox. Was going to leave her to it, but I’ve been bribed with the promise of a burrito…
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Would that be Biscoff spread?
As great as the biscuits are, it sounds a bit grim. Although I’m not a ‘sweet things on toast’ man at all.
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Ikea standard ones mate. Maybe there’s an error in my calculation though. Maybe I bought the cereal a week earlier that would bring it down to around 50g.