Supermarket items you check before buying

  • Bananas. Green or brown? Depends when I plan on eating them.
  • Eggs. Give the little fellas a little roll around, make sure they’re structurally sound.
  • Strawberries. Give the punnet a good sniff and a little shake to check for seepage.

Cookies. Quick squeeze for squidginess.

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Yes! Often resulting in crumbly destruction if misjudged.

Their fault for being insufficiently squidgy.

Apples to make sure they’re not bruised.
Might give a loaf a quick squeeze to check for freshness.

How cold the beer in the fridge is.

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GF taps the bottom of bread. Not sure what response she’s expecting.

Well if it says “ow!” you probably put it back.


Always have a look at raspberries. Have picked up too many punnets recently with a few mouldy ones in there.

Will give the lids of jars a quick press as well.


Oops, should have known

haha slow bread joke wanker!

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You need a spectrum of ripeness that reflects the days you will eat them. Sometimes I am tempted to take single bananas from different bunches but I feel that other people will just think I’m making a fuss


This post alone has justified my monthly DiS gold subscription

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‘Ripen at home’? I’d like to eat them this week, not next month


This applies to kiwi fruits also. Great fruit to squeeze, similar texture to a testicle

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Was down the Lidl last week and saw a man go through all of the double cream cartons, holding them to his ear and shaking each one. Really annoying as he was stood in front of all the milk

usually go through the entire shelf of meat inspecting cuts for optimal fat content before I make my choice.

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It looks like we might have a new POTW champion - Kermit has been superseeded!

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