Just got told off by my dad for calling Ashley Williams a “dirty bastard” watching Burnley-Everton in the pub as we were “sat next to old ladies”, apparently.

Please feel free to post your most memorable similar experiences with the f£@£ing c;:&ing b0ll0ck1ng Queen’s English.


my mum swears constantly but the main thing I was told off for saying when I was little was “oh my god”


Yeah I get that.

Once, out of boredom, when she was putting up some Christmas decorations with Jesus on asked ‘what’s that got to do with Christmas?’


You could have also called him fucking shit too. :slight_smile:


My folks are very selective about giving me into trouble for swearing, based mainly on whether they are swearing at the same time :grinning:


My parents are worse than me.


My mum also really enjoys saying cunt at really unexpected times about people who truly deserve it. Only ever around me to make me laugh (which it does, for hours) and she grins loads when she’s said it because she can’t believe she’s said it out loud in front of a person. It’s my favourite thing.


I have sworn maybe once in front of a parent, I said shit when I dropped a lit candle on the table.


My friend’s gran once literally washed his mouth out with soap for swearing in front of her when he was a child. Can’t confirm what the offending word was though.


Always thought this was an urban myth, like the Tooth Fairy


Me too, but clearly not.


i don’t realise how much i sweat til i’m around my brother and trying not to swear in front of my niece.


swear loads and am really bad at regulating it around people. Usually it’s just saying “fucking” instead of umm or err or something


Swear too much tbh but reserve the c word for the only the most deserving.

Will never forget saying ‘bugger’ when I was quite young and didn’t know what it meant - got chased up the stairs by my dad and thumped with a slipper. Never swore in front of my parents again.





called my sister a whore when i was about 8 and my entire family went spare. had no clue how bad it was and tried to play it off like i said horse.


On one hand it’s a really harsh reaction on kids who don’t know any better but on the other i guess you need to in order to stop kids swearing all over the place.


My mate uses ‘You Horse’ as his main term of abuse, and it’s genuinely more hurtful and funny than any actual swear word I can imagine.


SFW now, sorry