Sweaty bum story


Just remembered that an ex of mine had a really sore, itchy bum for a while. I told him to fold up a piece of toilet paper and but it between his bum cheeks to soak up the moisture. He did and it worked but he said one day at uni they were all standing in a group having a fag and he saw the little bit of toilet paper on the floor in front of his foot.

Got any stories?


This isn’t a bad story


yeah it’s not that bad because no one would have guessed what it was


probably wouldn’t have even noticed it


Yeah, I mean, I enjoyed the story to an extent but I think if any of his friends had reacted to seeing some TP (toilet paper) on the floor by suggesting that their mate might have had it between his arsecheeks to dry his crack out it would reflect really weirdly on them.


How loose were his underpants and/or trousers?


yeah, is there a name for that thing of when you know about something it’s because you must have done it yourself?

like when ZXCVBNM asked how to remove films youve watched from your netflix ‘films you’ve watched list’

It’s not ‘the one who smelt it dealt it’ because that’s not necessarily true


it was the early noughties so his trousers were REALLY baggy



He probably had threadworm or something.


If there is one I don’t know what it is


yes, I didn’t look but I have heard you can actually see them. I think my mum told me that when your child has them the doctor tells you to go and have a look at their bum in the night and you can see them




Yeah, the females come out overnight and lay their eggs, and secrete an irritant of some sort, which makes babies itch their bums and subsequently swallow the eggs in their sleep.

It can be very common in nurseries and creches. It’s not really a health risk, other than it disrupting sleep.


Well this got surprisingly grim surprisingly quickly.


looks at noodles for lunch

Decides to forgo eating today


i’ve got 3 kids - I’ve seen plenty of threadworms in my time


Could’ve had a spot of chef’s arse.

Can be v. painful so be careful.



do you think at the end of the day after he removed the bum sweat soaked toilet paper, he was tempted to sniff it before chucking it out?