Swimming thread

So are you a regular swimmer? Do you visit your local swimming baths for some aqua exercise? Are you one of those string kit bag wankers who invents strokes to swim to exercise their right gluteus maximus and don’t give a fuck about any other lane user? Or do you swim breast stroke not letting a hair on your head get wet?

Me, I swim twice maybe three times a week (couple of evenings and very early Sunday mornings). Usually an hour / 2 to 2.5km per session, constant swimming. Front crawl one way, breast stroke the other. No rests. No fucking flippers or floats or hand paddles or any of that bullshit. No chat either. In the pool. Swim. Get out. Courteous to other lane users. Only equipment is nose clip, ear plugs and goggles. Oh and speedo Lycra long shorts.

How bout you?

Swimming. :swimming_woman:t2::swimming_man:t2:

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Normally just bellyflop in, do a couple of lengths, have a crafty piss and go and sit in the steamroom.


Love a crafty piss

haven’t been in ages
can’t swim that well but miss the swimming pool ambience

Nearly 2 years ago I thought I’d try getting back into the pool to do some exercise/lose weight/get fit. Figured swimming was the way forward as it’s not (too) boring plus you don’t sweat hideously or get red sweaty face when doing it.

At the end of my first length I actually thought I was going to die and only managed 5 lengths first swim. Truly terrible.

Stuck with it though. Lost a shit load of weight (like 6 stone…coupled with eating sensibly). Also started to even enjoy it. Good for clearing the head. Now not too hard to swim 80+ lengths and feel fucking good post swim.

Beats running that’s for sure.

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I don’t often piss in the pool (only when I have my own lane and very occasionally at that if I’m desperate). I do get paranoid that one day there will be some sort of dye piss calling out fiasco that will go down and I’ll be a pool pariah.

But it does feel nice when it happens. Like the opposite of a cold beer on a hot day. Feel guilt. :weary:

All I can suggest is to persevere with it. I went once a week to start of with and it got easier and easier each time and got my confidence up til i was pretty relaxed about it.

Just don’t become one of those swimming wankers who goes nuts about it and thinks they’re fucking Phelps or something. Too many of them at my pool. Laughable really some of the bollocks “training” they do. Lots of laminated crib sheets and over enthusiastic stretching in the shallow end.


Fucking swimming wankers. Wouldn’t catch cyclists doing that :wink:

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I tend not to as I live on dry land.

Just back from a swim actually. I like to finish a gym session of with 20-30 minutes in the pool. 2 lengths front crawl, 2 lengths back stroke, repeat. Can’t really do breast stroke. Need goggles and a cap or I’m all over the place. Get really upset by people obstructing ‘my’ lane - thankfully my gym’s pool never has more than 6 people in it.

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Don’t go as much as I’d like to these days, but I used to swim a lot when I was at school. My plan is to go swimming a lot more when I’ve done the marathon and have a bit more spare time.

When I go, I tend to do about 80 lengths, 50m front crawl then 50m breaststroke. No chatting, no resting. I don’t do tumble turns. I use goggles but not a nose clip or ear plugs.

That’s what I mean!! Like a big green cloud behind me. Lifeguards furrowing their brows and whispering together before ejection from the pool. Humiliation is complete. Ah fuck it.

Fucking tumble turns. Hate that shit.

Can recommend nose clip but especially ear plugs. Saves having to stand up every 200m in the shallow end banging the side of your head like you’re trying to smack your brains out. The only thing more infruiriating than that is when one falls out mid length and you have to spend the rest of the swim scouting the depths of the pool to try and find it, then diving down to find a random piece of plastics or a fucking plaster or summit. It’s alchemy when you find it but painful if you don’t. I’ve been through 3 sets of earplugs (always the right one I lose for some reason).

Lane rage. Me and one other all cool so we split the lane. Don’t mind others too much if we’re all the same sort of pace. Hate Olympic wannabes who thrash past you like you’re holding them back from achievement. I tend to hold my nerves and let them huff past me.

I’ve never worn nose lips or ear plugs, as I’ve never had an issue that would need them.

I used to do tumble turns when I was training seriously, but in a public pool session I find that you often end up with loiterers at the end of the lane, getting in the way.

Your technique must be :ok_hand:t2:

I always get crunchy water ear if I don’t have ear plugs.

Tumble turns are too much unless you’re in your own lane.

There’s always some crowd in my local pool who like to chat in the shallow end at the end of the lane. Go to the pub if you wanna discuss house prices or work. No chat!

I don’t think it’s anything to do with technique (you see lots of top swimmers wearing them) - but probably just a fluke of ear and nose shape more than anything.

Used to go almost every day before work - an hour non-stop front crawlin’ - since marathon training’s taken over a bit I haven’t been much. As soon as this fucker’s out of the way the plan is x2 long-ish runs a week and x3 swims.

My ettiquette is mixed - I try to be a good guy but my form isn’t perfect so sometimes I bash people coming the other direction a bit. Plus sometimes I’m a bit huffy with medium lane but should be in the slow lane wankers.

Only really go swimming when i’m on holiday, love swimming in the sea although i’m a very weak swimmer

as per most others in this thread, used to go loads but haven’t been in yonks. really miss it. cycling kind of took over my life, so i hardly do any other exercise. I need to get back into it. it’s so relaxing.