Tell me something you’ve thought recently but can’t be arsed to say out loud to someone in real life

My neighbour has been out in the garden with her 7 year old son for hours every day just standing in goal while he takes shots for the whole holiday. He makes her wear goalie gloves and everything. Bet she can’t wait for school to start.

16 Likes

Used to do this with my little bro, I’m certain it’s why he hates football now. I ruined the poor lad.

I do this with my 7 year old nephew. As an ex-goalkeeper myself it absolutely kills me to have to let some in.

10 Likes

Also, he once kicked out one of his teeth so he didn’t have great technique anyway frankly

5 Likes

There’s this big husky called Bouncer who lives next door to my Ma, I usually wind him up loads as I pass their front garden, and I was just thinking about maybe getting a tennis ball to taunt him with this weekend to really drive him bananas.

2 Likes

:musical_note: :musical_note: :musical_note: “Tramps like us, baby we were born to cum” :musical_note: :musical_note: :musical_note:

5 Likes

he kicked out one of his own teeth?

Yeah (the tooth was wobbly at the time)

Sounds like he had pretty Fuckin good technique to me

2 Likes

I’m interested as to why you capitalised that F

1 Like

:musical_note:

He asked us “be you angels?”
And we said nay
We are butt men

:musical_note:

Had that in my head for a week now and really enjoy butt men as a thing. Not sure it’s funny.

6 Likes

It’s an incredibly boring story.

Top button of my trousers is coming off :frowning:

:musical_note: Aarhus,
in the middle of the Jutland Peninsula :musical_note:

2 Likes

use my penknife, my good man!

3 Likes

I’d love to hear it!

i put on my robe and wizard hat

1 Like

Saw Pigs x7 at Supersonic. “Bloke Sabbath”, I thought, and then I stood there for a bit being pleased with how funny I was

13 Likes

sure, i’d listen to that.

Personally, I love incredibly boring stories, especially when they come from @smee!