It’s a gold mine of analysis. I’ve just clocked how “tomorrow, well, tomorrow, could be your last day” is blatantly meant to replicate spoken language; but if you actually read it out loud, it’s clear that nobody would ever actually say that
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“all that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity. so, grasp the nettle. ride the lightning. live laugh love. snog marry avoid. always be closing. piss into the wind. stare directly into the sun. slather yourself in butter. cut off your ear. embrace the word of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. flail wildly. and get rid of those sideburns! ridicule is nothing to be scared of. because tomorrow, well, i kinda lost my train of thought there…”
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that kind of phrasing gets used tons in ‘conversational’ adverts and it irks me no end
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“Tch, raining again.”
“Is it? Can you pause Masterchef, just popping out for a boogie. 10 minutes should do it.”
“Okey doke, I’ll put the kettle on.”
Why is dancing in the rain always in this sort of drivel? “Free Spirit” shortcut for wankers.
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Fair play if you want to do that, but don’t be asking me to sort a Lemsip out next day
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Tomorrow is your last day because you snuck out to dance in the rain and got pneumonia…
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Last day itinerary:
Midnight-10am: Sleep through nearly half of your last day.
10am: text friend to say you love him. Pretend it was a joke when he sounds concerned.
11am: Spend all savings on Argos gift voucher for friend
12pm - 1pm Haircut
2pm Home. Linda McCartney ready meal
3pm-6pm Chessington world of adventures. If raining, dance.
6pm Berate Muslim
7pm Ice cream and fallafel
8pm Wait in the pool to die.
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my eyes are really open now
and trust me on the sunscreen
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fucking hell
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I guess in heaven you can get all the free college you want 
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FREE COLLEGE FOR THE DEAD
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exactly 
the fuck
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That’s the worst one of those things I’ve seen for a few days.
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Does look accurate tbf
Shiiiiiiiiit
Right, that’s it.
Shut it down.
This thread.
Facey b.
The intertron.
Power stations.
The lot.
Time for us to follow the whales and fuck off back into the ocean.
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