GORDO is on a date with HELENCE. They met via Tinder, when GORDO was struggling to download the app on his landline so called tech support and who should pick up but the radiant HELENCE. They hit it off and are now in a cafe
GORDO: you know what this place reminds me of?
HELENCE: kind of reminds me actually a bit of–
GORDO: yeah I know but speaking of which do you like your dad?
HELENCE: he’s a cage fighter
GORDO: cages can’t defend themselves. I think he’s a coward. I’m not a coward. If an unplanned pregnancy were to occur, I would stay by your side. I would spend an hour per day yelling phonics and entry level maths problems into your belly button. What are your views on children, incidentally?
HELENCE: they’re alright you know. More high pitched than most of my usual friends
GORDO: this play sucks and it kind of proves you can’t introduce those weird questions on a first date bc I’m struggling to raise them in a comically absurd context
HELENCE: I’d debate comically absurd
GORDO: why do you hate men so and what is your ability to domestic duties
