Terrible things people post on social media

[Aggpass]

My niece has a deeply disturbing pre-bathtime ritual that involves every adult in the house doing a dance and someone handing out marks out of ten. Obviously she has to win.

27 years old, she is

[Raanraals]

My god, that’s brilliant.

[andyvine]

This is actually great

This Scene In "Mean Girls" Has Been Haunting Me For So Long

[ttf]

Quite like that

[eems]

Woke up with blood on my hands!?! Hope I haven’t killed another homeless person for Sex or Meat!?! :v/€

[anon30627475]

that first picture makes me really uneasy. imagine the girl turning slowly around on the swing to face you

[anon30627475]

kind of amazing someone could 1) believe something that evil without apparently realising it’s an evil way to think; 2) go to such lengths to share an evil philosophy with the rest of the world; 3) sleep like a baby while people he’s friends with who may be victims of rape or know someone who was murdered or something stare in bewilderment at steve’s try for memeortality.

[colinfilth]

Looks like there’s some sort of evil winged elephant waiting for them up there.

[Aggpass]

posted with disdain so my m9’s ok, but seriously. This might well be the shittest take anyone’s ever had on anything
https://twitter.com/jackbuckby/status/883731392395329536

[Steved]

Astounding.

[manches]

Those times when someone tries to be really satirical and amazing by comparing current affairs to Harry Potter, actually why am I posting that here? That NEVER GETS OLD

Which leads me on to mentioning on comments sections when you get people saying “if you were being sarcastic you should have used [/s] to denote sarcasm because it’s apparently really hard to spot sarcasm in text even though it isn’t that difficult tbh and I’m just allergic to nuance and obsessed with making sure I’m the cleverest one in any online discourse”

Wha

[ninetyeightytwo]

It is hard to detect sarcasm in text though. And how many times has an arsehole said “I was just being satirical!” to cover up their arseholery? Don’t agree that you should use emojis to signpost sarcasm, but I do see where those latter people are coming from.

[manches]

Ultimately I am just frustrated that other internet users aren’t as well-versed in the art of crafting establishment-smashing satire as what I definitely am

[keith]

This is the cross we gifted writers and satirists must bear.

*

*I normally hate emoji but I think these have truely and faithfully condensed my feelings into an easily accessible set of hieroglyphs.

[sarahispi]

My friend works at a falafel place and got to take a left-over tub of hummus home and he posted pictures of himself trying to make hummus ice lollies. yes, he’s vegan

I might be sick.

[Epimer]

[zxcvbnm]

I don’t get it???

[Epimer]

I believe on wobble tests a low score would correlate to a lower body fat percentage, which under conventional standards of Western beauty would be considered to be desirable.

In this case, however, the protagonists appear to be aiming to increase their wobble score, on the absurdly named “Wobble-ometer”. This is a subversion of your expectations! Thence: humour.

It’s quite highbrow though, I can see why it wouldn’t land first thing on a Monday morning.

[Cervantes]

Is the implied meaning that Defoe is either a seraphim or a child killer? It’s all relative I suppose!

[ninetyeightytwo]

There are some very, very funny Fred comics, though.