I’m actually a big fan of that use name.
the thing that bugs me is that she just kept trying to sell it to us but we werent buying it but she kept trying and its like ffs i’ve told you once i aint drinking your aloe vera shit stop trying to sell it to me whilst i’m at work
“I’m sorry, sir, but Global Capitalism can’t be reported to this service.”
I will be tagging myself at the airport and posting a photo of my breakfast accompanied by a pint (or maybe bottle of Corona or Sol) before I fuck off to Mexico in just under 9 weeks time.
Airports are the only place that its acceptable to take alcohol at 6am and tell the world about it.
*in the UK. Pretty sure plenty of parts of the world don’t drag around Victorian attitudes to alcohol.
“We stumbled up the hill of love. We were so close we could read each others minds. When it was time to come back down, lets tumble roll and giggle.”
Literally the opening paragraph.
Please, please, please post the entire thing.
It’s something specific, but I felt this needed to be seen by more people. Absolute gem that appeared on my friend’s newsfeed yesterday:
Sounds like he deserves it tbf
He might regret posting that as full public if it’s published in court, mind.
Tell me more about the background of this inspiring poet. I feel like they’re someone who has never tumbled, rolled or giggled.
im learning so much about everyone from their responses to this its very interesting
I can’t, I feel really guilty.
Believe me when I say it is hilarious stuff, tho.
So our bundle of joy has finally gone gold and was launched into the great human market early this morning. We don’t know specifically when because isn’t time really just a restrictive and outmoded relic of a bygone era in the ongoing metanarrative of the business management paradigm? #lookbeyond So anyway, in Davros’ first moments in this world, all my apprehensions and anxieties about being a father just disappeared into the air like my seven-thousand-page novel, which I wrote and then burned ritualistically in order to best preserve the fundamental truths contained therein #nanowrimo, when he looked into my eyes for the first time, grasped my finger with his useless tiny child’s hand, and then said to me “if projections strongly implied that Lego would be depleted within the near future, I would make sure I had alternative renewable toys that me and all my diverse friends could play with in all peace and harmony; why, o father, do not Western governments feel the same way?”. Tears in my eyes. Your personal brand is going to knock 'em dead, little guy. #blessed #insightful #beingthechange #themeltingpointofsteel
Just a few select quotes? The guy’s clearly an absolute prong, this is the least he deserves.
You’d be better off taking a screenshot otherwise the text will be googlable.
kelis has been hacked
Davros and Harambe are staying at their grandparents’ this weekend (no ayahuasca before dinner, you guys!), and we’ve got the interns running the dried smoothie bar while me and “her indoors” #irony #beingthechange are going to the Life-Threatening Disease Experience Weekend that she got me for my birthday. We’d discussed this in advance because we both consider surprises to be an outmoded concept that is tantamount to a betrayal of the soul and that also is a deliberate and insidious subversion of the supply-and-demand structure that is the cornerstone of my personal branded philosophy #mindfulconsumerism. We wanted to do something special together for my birthday this year. We’d looked at a few “xtreme” options like glide-hanging, upside-down jetpacking, and blindfold mountain parkour, but ultimately decided to spend £17,000 on something that can actually benefit mankind. That. Can. Actually. Evolve. Human. Consciousness. Now hear me out, guys. For a weekend, we will both have leprosy (in controlled medically supervised conditions). It was inspired by something our eldest, Harambe, said to me: “In the Western world we take for granted that we don’t have leprosy, maybe if people would just have leprosy for a while and experience the plight of others instead of warping their sheeple minds with non-prestige television and selfishly gorging themselves on soulless factory-line affordable produce, there wouldn’t be any need for war or chemtrails in the first place.” I, personally, am inclined to agree. So, it begins. Compassion update. Download in progress.