Terrible things people post on social media

It’s pure clickbait. It’s not even actually on the countertop is it, they’ve got a whole slab on top of the counter.

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and the spaghetti seemed hot yet the sauce seemed cold out the jar

Yeah, it’s nonsense, no one actually prepares a meal like that. The two options are that it’s entirely to generate an angry response and boost views, which it’s probably very successful at, or alternatively it’s some kind of kink thing, and on that, I’m afraid I cannot judge its success, but good luck to whoever is into it.

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I wish I didn’t yearn for the feudal system so badly, but frankly that’s on these people and their awful, awful videos. I’d probably get fewer gastric illnesses in a wattle and daub hut than eating their botulism meatballs too.

“The first bite is with the eye”

Aye, and I’ve already boaked in my mouth pal

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You’ve hit the nail on the head. There’s a whole porn genre of people hard-banging in vats of spag bol. No doubt there’s a follow on video of the dad nutting in the sauce.

Why reverse in, when you want to get the shopping into the boot?

Peston (talking about GDP)

one of many

rolling around scrooge-macduck style here in my mighty vat of goverment dollar.

Joke’s on us this year though cos we’re doing all of the Year 11 and 13 assessment and marking that would normally be piled on to the exam boards and they’re paying the exam boards for it!

Teachers in Scotland are apparently getting a one-off payment to recognise this. It’s bugger all compared to the level of work but it’s something.

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Once again Scotland ahead of Eng.

Someone who cares about her would be best to take away her phone for a little while.

Oops

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What… is this?

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It’s a play on the trope that women in romantic relationships “steal” their male partner’s hoodie (a hooded jumper) and that this is a source of consternation to said male partner. That’s the context. Where the magic happens, however, is that the creator of the image has used the word “hoodie” to not mean a hooded jumper, but instead to refer to an uncircumcised penis (where the foreskin is the hood in question). Penises, whether circumcised or not, are not generally removable, unlike a hooded jumper, and are therefore much more difficult to “steal”.

You see, the clever part is that the word “hoodie” is being used to refer to two different things with different properties, and the humour is that the hoodie that is stolen is not the one being referred to in the image.

Words having ambiguous or multiple meanings is such a rare thing in the English language that it’s a guaranteed source of hilarity to point this out.

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What kind of sad local Indian are you getting for less than a tenner. Even buying for one I reckon I’m pushing £20

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I assumed it meant £9.75 for a curry, rather than the whole meal, but I reckon that’s a bit steep if its the average.

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