Terrible things people post on social media


#1443

On point!


#1444

Has anyone mentioned that ‘to the moon and back’ phrase yet? I’ve read the whole thread but over a long period, so I can’t recall.


#1445

Not really sure where to post this, but saw it shared on FB so this’ll do…

These days, if you say you’re English you get blocked from Facebook…


#1446

I have no sympathy for him but that FB ‘prove your name’ thing is a fucking menace. Someone I know who goes by their Initials recently had to change their name after a transphobic person they got into a row with reported their name as ‘not real’. They’ve changed to a name that isn’t their name either (unless maybe a deadname, not sure) so it’s also clearly not a particularly amazing system full stop. Fucked up though.


#1447

Terrible Onglish.


#1448

voms


#1449

I reckon a documentary about whoever or whatever put what little time and energy is necessary into creating that would be really illuminating and frankly horrifyingly real


#1450

So the mob with the burning torches could locate their house and recognise them easier when the time came?


#1451

Honestly struggling to imagine who came up with this or anything about them. 40 shares too! ?!


#1452

Someone’s posted a before and after pair of photos of their garage that they’ve tidied this morning. Six likes.


#1453

That’s the kind of content I can get behind. Please post a screenshot.


#1454

wouldn’t mind seeing this


#1455

oh god i did this with my garden


#1456

would get at least 10 likes on here


#1457

Glad we’re following the “be deliberately boring” plan flawlessly, pals.


#1458

Post the damn garage man.


#1459

GUNDAM McALLISTER and his wife DRAGONBALL are standing outside the locked door of HERBERTIO KNIFE’s workshop in the KNIFE household. They are impatient as CARMELLA KNIFE and her two children - daughter, KRISS AKABUSI, and young son, DES LYNAM - are approaching with their suitcases.

The workshop door opens, HERBERTIO KNIFE enters the front hall of his family home.

GUNDAM McALLISTER angrily glares at HERBERTIO.

GUNDAM: Ah, so he finally makes an appearance!

HERBERTIO: What is this? Your parents are here, Carmella. You have packed bags and are leaving with the children? Explain!?!

CARMELLA: Dear… I couldn’t handle childrearing alone. I need to move back in with my parents, so they can help me navigate the kids through the particularly tumultuous adolescent years.

DES LYNAM: There are hairs where before there were no hairs.

CARMELLA: You have shut yourself away from the family for too long, Herbertio. You entered into that workshop three years ago and I’ve been struggling to do everything as a single parent ever since.

HERBERTIO: But–

GUNDAM: I shan’t hear from you. I knew you weren’t good enough for my daughter, and I should have put a stop to your relationship long before you could do something so stupid as this.

HERBERTIO: I could explain. If you just come to my workshop and see what I’ve been doing for the last three years, you’d understand… and… and you’d forgive me. I know it.

GUNDAM: Oh, come on. We’re already running late. I can’t stand and listen to any more of this cack.

CARMELLA: Wait, dad. This is my husband. And my marriage is important to me. I trust him and… and… I still love him.

GUNDAM: GAH!

DRAGONBALL: Oh Gundam, remember when we were courting. My dad didn’t like you at first, did he? Remember? You came with us on that family holiday? You kept unplugging the freezer at random points in the night? Kept flooding the kitchen?

GUNDAM: Fine! At least it’ll put an end to the illusion that this oaf has done something competent for a change.

They all venture into the workshop, where they see - projected onto the wall - HERBERTIO’s master work.

GUNDAM: My God…

CARMELLA: Oh, Herbertio… now I remember why I married you…

HERBERTIO: See? A chubby day is upon us… I’ve analysed the charts! The planets! They foresee it with clarity! There won’t be one for another six-thousand years! … Yes… a chubby day is soon. And now I’ve created this conduit for people to tag their chubby friends… I think… if my calculations are right, I’ll be able to harness the chubby power and I’ll be able to–

GUNDAM: You can’t be saying–?

HERBERTIO: Yes, my father-in-law. I’ll be able to use the chubby power to remotely control the Statue of Liberty and defeat Gorgoroth once and for all

GUNDAM: I can’t believe I ever doubted you… son


#1460

Can’t risk it, they might well be Daily Mail readers.


#1461

PM me.


#1462

This is when we need that lounge board back.