I’m really troubled by how often I’m seeing “social media influencer”. Possibly one for the “major and geographically noticeable irks (to the point, fyi, of calling for a complete re-evaluation of the Richter Scale) thread”.
If that was a job title in an episode of Black Mirror, I’d be slagging off Charlie Brooker (to the extent that you can slag him off given that he seems like a genuinely nice guy and is responsible for some solid cultural output) for being proper heavy-handed
The only jobs that will exist in the future will be social media influencer and racist vlogger.
Wassup it’s ya boi Hawk_the_Yeayer with another Let’s Play of Microsoft Access and remember this one’s part of my NOT FOR MALTESE month. So if you’re Maltese… (slowed down footage) GgEeTt OoUuTt … (speeds up) but like and subscribe (back to normal speed) OK, that warning again NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT FOR (slowed down footage) Mmaalltteessee. Ii hhaattee Mmaallttaa ssoo mmuucchh.
(cut to ten minutes of ya boi Hawk_the_Yeayer standing in front of a world map punching Malta with his right hand while making a prank call to the Maltese embassy in the other with a phone supplied to him by his sponsors)
(and then back to the main video in which Hawk_the_Yeayer plays through Microsoft Access while awkwardly failing to flirt with special guest Zoella and occasionally screams slanderous remarks about Marie-Louise Coleiro Preca at a volume that distorts the audio)
The next day:
"I’m taking time to reflect on my actions, I’m going to postpone my future vlogs until I have regained my centre. Some of you may have noticed I made some remarks about - amongst other things - Malta, the Maltese people, the Maltese president, and the patron saints of Malta. At the time, I assumed it was understood that I was being satirical like South Park and trying to raise awareness of depression and the Plague, but upon reflection I realise that the actions I took did not fully justify the end result of my over-ambitious altruism and addiction to caring for others.
I may be away for a while, meditating on the mistakes I’ve made… trying to better myself not just for myself, but for everyone… because we’re all human, we all make mistakes like these daily. Who hasn’t, in their youth, engaged in such prank-ful high-jinks as forging documents to declare war on Malta?
But, in spite of my long absence, I hope you’ll welcome me with open arms when I have recovered, when I return. Because you’ve always been there to me, and I’ll always be
This is too real
Seriously.
I have three verbs in my name.
Hannah Stammers.
She should go and see a speech therapist then.
This paragraph absolutely destroyed me. I’m trying to suppress laughter here at work. Can’t even look at the Maltese politican’s name without bursting into giggles. Spot on attention to detail.
i would love to see a Let’s Play of Microsoft Access
I lost it at patron saints of Malta.
Still really into this page: https://www.instagram.com/p/BdfEvsylTRt/?taken-by=oasis_roses_beatles
cripes
Sigh
cripes
It’s quite something when a Bitstrips graphic is the least awful thing about something
what… ugh… what?
https://twitter.com/Sebastian_JKT/status/950811320785481728
Luckily the correct response is also here, but ffs.
https://twitter.com/NormsRespecter/status/950820938999836674
Yeah I was gonna say, how the hell’s that socialism?!
