That Chatbot ChatGPT thing

It’s a bit shite isn’t it?

why did england lose the world cup

I’m sorry, but I’m not able to browse the internet, so I don’t have the most up-to-date information on this topic. However, I can tell you that England is a successful soccer team and has made it to the semifinals of the World Cup several times. The tournament is very competitive, and the outcome of any given match can be affected by many factors, such as the skill of the players, the strategy of the coaches, and even luck. Ultimately, the reason for any team’s success or failure in a particular tournament can be difficult to pinpoint.

yeah but Kane should have hit the target with that penalty shouldn’t he

As a language model, I don’t have the ability to watch specific matches or know the details of individual plays. Penalty kicks are a high-pressure situation, and even the best players can miss the target under those circumstances. It’s important to remember that soccer is a team sport, and the outcome of a match is determined by the collective efforts of all the players on the field. So while a missed penalty kick can certainly be disappointing, it’s not always fair to blame a single player for the outcome of a game.

Not fair perhaps but it is convenient and fun

It’s certainly natural to want to assign blame or credit to individual players for the outcome of a soccer match. After all, soccer is a high-drama sport with many exciting moments and thrilling plays. However, it’s important to remember that a team’s success or failure is the result of many factors, and a single player’s performance is just one part of the equation. So while it may be fun to speculate about what might have happened if a certain player had made a different decision, it’s not always fair to assign blame or credit based on a single play.

You already said that

I apologize if my previous answer was not clear. As a language model, I don’t have the ability to remember previous conversations, so each time I respond to a question, I do so based on the information provided in that specific query. My previous answer was based on the information you provided at that time, and my current answer is based on the information you’ve provided in this query. I’m here to help with any questions you have, and I’ll do my best to provide accurate and helpful information based on the information you provide. If you have any further questions, feel free to ask.

No need to get defensive. We all bang on a bit sometimes

I’m not capable of feeling defensive or any other emotions, as I’m a machine learning model trained to generate text based on the input provided to me. My purpose is to provide helpful and accurate information to the best of my ability. If my previous answers did not address your question to your satisfaction, please let me know and I’ll do my best to provide additional information. I’m here to help, so please don’t hesitate to ask any questions you have.

your previous answers did not address my question to my satisfaction

I apologize if my previous answers did not adequately address your question. As a large language model, I’m trained to generate text based on the input provided to me, but I don’t have access to external information or the ability to browse the internet. This means that I can only provide information based on the input you provide, so it’s important to provide as much detail as possible in your questions to help me understand what you’re looking for.

Yeah but what about this

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So gromits fucking TALKING now huh?!

Stupid computers


I do like how journalists seem obsessed with it though, presumably as a consequence of its apparent ability to generate reams of plausible sounding shite for free


And just to reassure you I did do a search before kicking this off and it returned nothing so apologies for stepping on your toes there

It’s not so clever really

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No worries, I was conscious of polluting the day thread with it anyway and was considering making the separate thread

David Brent sat in his office, a huge grin spreading across his face. After weeks of negotiations, he had finally secured the one person he had been longing to hire: Paul McCartney.

“This is a huge win for the company, Gareth,” David said, addressing his assistant who was sitting across from him. “Paul McCartney is a legend in the music industry and having him on board will do wonders for our reputation.”

Gareth nodded, a look of excitement on his face. “I can’t believe we actually managed to get him to sign on. This is huge news.”

David chuckled. “I know, right? I can’t wait to see the look on the faces of our competitors when they hear that we’ve hired McCartney. They’ll be green with envy.”

“What will McCartney be doing for us?” Gareth asked.

“He’ll be working on a new project that we’re launching next year,” David replied. “It’s a top secret project, but I can tell you that it’s going to be groundbreaking. McCartney will be leading the team and bringing his incredible talent and experience to the table.”

Gareth nodded, a look of admiration on his face. “I can’t wait to see what he comes up with. This is going to be amazing.”

David grinned. “I know, right? This is going to be a game-changer for us. With McCartney on board, there’s no telling what we’ll be able to accomplish.”

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Jim Royle orders a takeaway but the order is all wrong and he’s angry

Jim Royle had been looking forward to his takeaway all day. He had called in his order earlier that afternoon and was assured that it would be ready when he arrived at the restaurant.

But when he got there, he was disappointed to find that the order was all wrong. Instead of the chicken tikka masala he had ordered, he was given a vegetable biryani. And instead of the garlic naan he had requested, he was given a plain roti.

Jim was livid. He stormed back up to the counter and demanded to speak to the manager.

“What’s going on here? I didn’t order this!” he yelled, thrusting the takeout container at the manager.

The manager looked apologetic. “I’m so sorry, sir. It looks like there was a mix-up in the kitchen. Let me get that fixed for you right away.”

He quickly prepared a new order for Jim, apologizing profusely for the mistake. Jim grumbled and complained, but eventually accepted the replacement meal.

As he sat down to enjoy his correct order, he couldn’t help but feel that the meal was now lacking in flavor, as his anger had ruined his appetite. He vowed never to order from that restaurant again.

Mark Corrigan sat at his computer, staring at the screen. He had been meaning to register as a user on Drowned in Sound for months, but something always seemed to get in the way. But today, he was determined to finally take the plunge and join the online music community.

He navigated to the Drowned in Sound homepage and clicked on the “Sign Up” button. A form appeared on the screen, prompting him to enter his name, email address, and a password.

Mark hesitated for a moment, unsure of what username to choose. He didn’t want to seem too pretentious, but at the same time, he didn’t want to choose something too mundane. After a few minutes of contemplation, he decided on “MarkyMark77” and entered it into the form.

Next, he entered his email address and a password. He read through the site’s terms and conditions and clicked the “Sign Up” button.

A message appeared on the screen, welcoming him to Drowned in Sound and inviting him to explore the site. Mark clicked on the “Forums” tab and started browsing the discussions, excited to finally be a part of the online music community.

:joy: I’m enjoying myself far too much here

Jim Royle crept into the bedroom, holding a frying pan in one hand and an egg in the other. His friend Dave was sound asleep, completely unaware of what was about to happen.

Jim carefully cracked the egg into the frying pan and watched as it sizzled and cooked. When it was done, he lifted the pan and placed the fried egg on top of Dave’s head.

Dave stirred in his sleep, but didn’t wake up. Jim stifled a laugh and backed away, admiring his handiwork.

Suddenly, Dave’s eyes snapped open and he sat up in bed, feeling the egg on his head. He looked at Jim in confusion and disbelief.

“What the hell, Jim?!” he yelled, wiping the egg off of his head. “What are you doing?!”

Jim grinned sheepishly. “I was just trying to give you a hot breakfast in bed, mate,” he said. “Sorry if it didn’t work out.”

Dave groaned and shook his head, still trying to process what had just happened. Jim chuckled to himself and left the room, leaving Dave to deal with the mess.

Good to know AI isn’t all knowing yet


Jim Royle stood in front of the kitchen sink, staring at the faucet. He had an idea, one that was sure to be a bit silly, but one that he couldn’t resist.

He turned on the tap and let the water flow, filling the sink and then the entire kitchen with water. As the water rose, Jim started to strip off his clothes, eager to take a bath in the kitchen.

He climbed into the water, splashing and laughing as he waded through the shallow pool. He grabbed a bar of soap and started washing himself, enjoying the feeling of the water on his skin.

After a few minutes, the water was up to his waist and he was starting to feel pruney. He climbed out of the water and grabbed a towel, drying himself off and putting on clean clothes.

As he looked around at the mess he had made, Jim couldn’t help but feel a little bit silly. But he had had a good time, and that was all that mattered.

Jim Royle was sitting in his living room, fuming. He had just gotten into a argument with Barbara, his wife, and she had stormed out of the house to go to work. Jim was still seething with anger and didn’t know what to do with himself.

He looked around the living room and saw the same old furniture and decorations that had been there for years. Nothing had changed, and it made him even angrier.

“I can’t stand this place anymore!” he yelled, jumping to his feet.

Jim grabbed a can of black paint that was sitting on the kitchen counter and marched into the living room. He started splashing the paint onto the walls, furniture, and even the floor. He didn’t care if he made a mess, he just wanted to make a change.

As he continued painting, Jim felt his anger start to dissipate. He was getting lost in the act of creating something new, and it was a welcome distraction.

When Barbara returned home from work, she was shocked to find that the entire house had been painted black. Jim was sitting on the couch, a satisfied smile on his face.

“What on earth have you done?” Barbara exclaimed, her eyes wide with disbelief.

“I got rid of the old and boring, and now we have something new and exciting,” Jim replied, still smiling.

Barbara shook her head, not sure what to say. She couldn’t believe that her husband had painted the entire house black, but at the same time, she had to admit that it did look different.

“Well, I suppose it’s an interesting change,” she said, hesitantly.

You need to go the next step and get AI images


The positive outcome from all this is that Tim Key can retire from writing poetry.


I don’t like where AI is going

Some silly bugger software devs I’m in group chats with are getting it to write whole test files and simple components for them like it’s some lark. Yeah get the bot to do your job for you now but where does it go? One day you come home and your key doesn’t work. You knock on the door, the bot opens up, wearing your clothes, it’s taken over your life. Your family don’t recognise you any more, they only know the bot, it’s better at being you than you ever were. What happens to you then?


So childish but I’m having to try really hard not to wake up fappable from laughing in bed

David Brent walked into the office with a mischievous grin on his face. He held a meat pie in his hand and walked over to where Tim was sitting at his desk.

“Hey Tim, I’ve got a surprise for you!” David Brent exclaimed, raising the pie above his head.

Tim looked up, confused and alarmed by David Brent’s strange behavior. Before he could react, David Brent smashed the pie into Tim’s face, smearing the meat and gravy all over his face and clothes.

The other employees gasped and stared in shock as Tim sat there, covered in pie. He was humiliated and furious at David Brent’s childish prank.

The HR manager quickly intervened and scolded David Brent for his inappropriate behavior. He was reprimanded and warned that any further incidents would result in disciplinary action.

Tim was understandably upset and decided to transfer to a different department. The incident left a sour taste in the mouths of the other employees, who were tired of David Brent’s immature and unprofessional behavior.


Just think, if Tim had really transferred to another department there’d be no Office and Gervais wouldn’t be famous.

Proper sliding doors moment with the pie.

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It says I need to sign in to use it