a stray football bobbles towards you in the park.
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I, frankly, live for this moment. I fucking love it
14 Likes
Unless I’m wearing my red wings
I normally just play a simple but firm pass back, no fucking about but it’s clear I could have pinged it if I so desired
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Little clip, bit of backspin on it. Ideally between their knee and chest height to test their touch
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How long before someone comes in and claims that they simply scorpion kick it back?
Pick it up, roly-poly throw-in back
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I simply scorpion kick it back while everyone bursts into rapturous applause
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standard return is a quite exaggerated ‘slo-mo’ wind up into a slice, striking across the ball. remember my dad always doing this when I was a kid, so probably picked it up from him.
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Didn’t realise your dad is Roberto Carlos.
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works because if you fuck it, it looks like you didn’t really care in the first place due to the wind up, but if you nail it:
Ignore it each and every time.
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Knew you’d say this.
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technically handy winger by all accounts, but unanimously disparaged as lazy as fuck and thus completely ineffective by his contemporaries. my grandad used to run a football team in the UK the 70s and 80s, and they kicked him out because he never ran. like father like son 
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Did this once and fell flat on my arse, like the kind of thing you worry about happening actually happened to me
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Like rain on your wedding day.
I’ve seen this happen in other people’s lives
And now, it’s happening in mine
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Just pick up the ball, put it under your arm & walk home with it innit
This happened to me once. I did 1000 keepy uppies, scorpion kicked it back, fucked everyone that was there and moonwalked out of the park high-fiving the ice cream man.
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