a stray football bobbles towards you in the park.
I, frankly, live for this moment. I fucking love it
Unless I’m wearing my red wings
I normally just play a simple but firm pass back, no fucking about but it’s clear I could have pinged it if I so desired
Little clip, bit of backspin on it. Ideally between their knee and chest height to test their touch
How long before someone comes in and claims that they simply scorpion kick it back?
Pick it up, roly-poly throw-in back
I simply scorpion kick it back while everyone bursts into rapturous applause
standard return is a quite exaggerated ‘slo-mo’ wind up into a slice, striking across the ball. remember my dad always doing this when I was a kid, so probably picked it up from him.
Didn’t realise your dad is Roberto Carlos.
works because if you fuck it, it looks like you didn’t really care in the first place due to the wind up, but if you nail it:
Ignore it each and every time.
Knew you’d say this.
technically handy winger by all accounts, but unanimously disparaged as lazy as fuck and thus completely ineffective by his contemporaries. my grandad used to run a football team in the UK the 70s and 80s, and they kicked him out because he never ran. like father like son
Did this once and fell flat on my arse, like the kind of thing you worry about happening actually happened to me
Like rain on your wedding day.
I’ve seen this happen in other people’s lives
And now, it’s happening in mine
Just pick up the ball, put it under your arm & walk home with it innit
This happened to me once. I did 1000 keepy uppies, scorpion kicked it back, fucked everyone that was there and moonwalked out of the park high-fiving the ice cream man.