The apples are ripe; the plums are red

Quite pleased that a bunch of people will have just had their head ripped open by those lyrics. Someone mentioned it on twitter and it’s now all I can hear in my head.

That damn song. Possibly the only good thing about primary school.

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Apologies if you have no idea what this is about

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Broad beans are sleeping in a blankety bed

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Cauliflowers fluffy,

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Cabbages green

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Eggplants look like willies if you know what I mean

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You would have done well at my primary school, young padawan

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Amusing variants very allowed in this thread

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Apology accepted

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Not this

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Beetroots purple,

The moon is right

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C-C-C-C-C-CABBAGE!

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You gotta fight,

Dun dun

Alright gang; that shallot

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The moon is right? Wut?

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The real lyric is ‘the onions white’

Down in the darkness where the celery sleeps