That monkey looks like he just wants a cuddle

Good luck everyone



  1. It’s nearly Christmas
  2. Discobot is a massive bellend
  3. This one’s hard

I’m going to give us max Stamina, Skill and Luck


Any words of advice to get us through this one Discobot aka “Massive Bellend”?

:left_speech_bubble: Think how hard physics would be if particles could think. — Murray Gell-Mann

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thanks for that

Hi! To find out what I can do, say @discobot display help.

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oh shit. let’s DO THIS


Reminder of how battles/escaping work:

I am going to allow SOME stats intrigue though: Lets Magic!

@discobot roll 2d6

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:game_die: 6, 5


how could I ever stay mad at you


I hope some order can be restored in this citadel


can’t wait to fuck that monkey up

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Magic score = 17

You MAGIC score determines how many Magic Spells you may use during your quest. These spells may be chosen from the list following this section.

You will be able to use 17 spells during your adventure. From the list of spells given below, you may choose 17 spells as you please. Perhaps you would like to take three Stamina Spell, five E.S.P. Spells and five Fire Spells - or maybe you would prefer one each of the 12 spells plus an extra Creature Copy spell. The choice is yours!

Well we’ve got an excellent track record so it’s about time we stepped up a level




Creature Copy

This spell will allow you to conjure up an exact duplication of any creature you are fighting. The duplicate will have the same skill and stamina scores, and the same powers, as its original. But the duplicate will be under the control of your will and you may, for example, instruct it to attack the original creature and then sit back and watch the battle!


With this spell you will be able to tune in to psychic wavelengths. It may help you to read a creatures mind or may tell you what is behind a locked door. However, it is sometimes prone to give misleading information (!) if more than one psychic source is close to another.


Every creature is afraid of fire, and this spell allows you to conjure up fire at will. You may cause a small explosion on the ground which will burn for several seconds, or you may create a wall of fire to keep creatures at bay

Fool’s Gold

This spell will turn ordinary rock into a pile of what appears to be gold. However, the spell is merely a form of illusion spell - although more reliable than the Illusion Spell below - and the pile of gold will soon urn back to rock.


This is a powerful spell, but one which is a little unreliable. Through this spell you may create a convincing illusion (e.g. that you have turned into a snake, or that the floor is covered in hot coals) with which to fool a creature. The spell will immediately be cancelled if anything happens which dispels the illusion . It is most effective against intelligent creatures.


You may cast this spell onto objects, opponents and even yourself. It frees its receive from the effects of gravity and as such will cause tha receiver to float freely in the air, under your control.


This spell, along with the Skill and Stamina spells, is special in that it may be cast at any time during your adventure, except in a battle. You need to wait for a choice to appear on the page. Once cast, it will restore your LUCK score by half your Initial luck score. This spell will never take your luck score over its initial level.


Casting this spell creates an invisible shield in front of you which will protect you from physical objects, e.g. arrows, swords or creatures. The shield is not effective against magic and, of course, if nothing outside it can touch you, you will not be able to touch anything outside it (the answer is touch, move your fucking shits?)

Skill (see luck)

Stamina (see luck)


This spell has the effect of increasing your strength greatly and is very useful when battling strong creatures. However, it must be exercised with caution as it is difficult to control your own strength when it is suddenly increased by so much!


Strong creatures are reduced by this spell to miserable weaklings. It is not successful against all creatures but when effective, those creatures become puny and much less of a challenge in a battle.