#76

No, his surname is Jol, not Advocaat

#77

For my POV:

I said whats the joke
you said it’s the football thing/character
i said it seems we’re laughing at black people talking / roadmen / we’re not part of the black community, should we be laughing at this kind of thing, is this for us? etc etc
you said read what i wrote about why it’s funny
i said ok but it really does seem to me that we’re laughing at roadmen
you said no this is why i find it funny

There’s no convo there, is there? It’s just you repeating why you think it’s funny and ignoring why I think it’s something else. This is fresh off the bat from someone sharing a roadman meme that every is like huh?.
No hard feelings or anything, and I’m not upset/mad, I just don’t see the point in trying to start a proper conversation when I’m just getting someone literally saying “go back and read what I wrote before”. It wouldn’t happen to other people on here! Just a bit frustrating man.

#78

If someone asked me why I thought something was funny and they suggested that the answer that I gave was wrong (which is how I took your “see to me” reply, as saying that my answer was wrong), I’d reply in exactly the same way, but I don’t think I’ve ever had that happen?
I’m just quite stumped to be honest. If I’d asked you why something was funny and you gave me a reply and then I replied “see to me…”, wouldn’t you take that as me telling you that you were wrong?

#79

bangs head against wall

I can’t. I just can’t.

#80

I’m sorry if I took your “see to me…” comment as you suggesting that my answer was wrong. I feel this isn’t productive so I’ll bow out

#81

I was having a conversation??? I was asking questions? I was trying to fucking TALK TO SOMEONE.
I wasn’t repeatedly asking you “and why do you personally find this funny?” I was saying X, Y, Z and this point and that point and all you did was direct me back to you post about why found it funny, totally ignoring any points I raised about why someone else might see this as laughing at black people!

Like what is going on here. Why are you even trying to argue with me over this?

#82

Sounds like a no-blokes day would be perfect tbh.

3 Likes
#83

You know what phrase really really wouldn’t go a miss here once in a while, and I feel like I never ever see it, especially when talking with the women of dis…

"I can totally see why you’d think/see/feel that…"

Just fucking try it!!!

#84

It will honest work wonders for us. We want to feel heard and also it’s just nice??

#85

I completely heard what you were saying. I’m genuinely sorry if it felt like I was trying to shut you down or ignore your opinions at any point. I’m not saying at all that I can’t see why you would feel that way, or that someone else would feel that way, just that personally

I did not feel the way about the video that you did, but that’s not to say that my opinion is right or that it is more valid than yours, and I absolutely respect your opinion on it and am not trying to say that your opinion is wrong.

I personally would rather not continue this conversation any further.

1 Like
#86

Ok thank you, I appreciate you saying that now. I wanted to hear that at the time and this would be avoided completely.

Just a thing of note, not just aimed at you totally, this is kind of thing we see a lot.

Man riles up woman, woman gets annoyed, man says something along the lines of “don’t reply to my posts on DiS any more” (that one is a stinger, especially when the person still views all my instagram stories after that lol :laughing:) or “I’m bowing out” and if the woman then replies, even if they’ve said something hurtful or that would warrant a reply, you look like a fucking nut job! You can sense theres a thing of “he told you not to reply but you’re still replying!”
I’ve definitely been guilty of doing the whole “i’m not doing this any more” thing but I think going forward, a more constructive way to end something would be something along the lines of “i’m sorry if I’ve said something to cause hurt/offence/annoyance at something, I appreciate what you’re saying and understand. i’d personally prefer if we draw a line under this, feel free to PM me if you want to talk further” etc.

I just have had way too many hostile conversations on here lately and I don’t want to be a cow but I want this place to be a bit nicer/kinder to people

1 Like
#87

He’s a friend of a friend she was a groupie and I was always irked when she stayed at his house without telling me because I don’t live far and we could’ve gone for a coffee!

2 Likes
#88

I understand, I just wanted to take a break from the discussion and put my own mental health first. I hope I haven’t given you any indication that I don’t want you to talk to me on DiS or outside it - absolutely not the case.

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#89

I’ve definitely seen this play out many times and may well have done it myself

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#90

Absolutely not aimed at you at all when I said that! :blush: And I must reiterate, I’m not upset/riled up/pissed off or anything of the sort so don’t feel like you’ve done something majorly wrong today. Just a bit tired that’s all!

1 Like
#91

Defo done it myself and can see how it would totally piss someone off. Just thinking out loud of some kinder and more constructive ways to end a disagreement/heated thing.

#92

Think we all are. Glad we’ve managed to resolve it, and again apologies for my part in any friction.

2 Likes
#93

Sorry from my side too! I know you’re a good egg and nothing was intentional :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

#95

This thread will remain pinned, and if you still forget you will be told off accordingly — which may or may not involve Shania Twain. :cowboy_hat_face:

Certainly no woman should be expected to remind you or anyone else of this, look up emotional labour if in doubt as to why :wink:

22 Likes
#96

Apologies. Done that annoying man thing of jumping into an adult conversation and waheyyyying it. My post last night should have simply said ‘Good idea’. Didn’t mean to trivialise the matter. Off to the park to power walk the anxiety away.

2 Likes