The football thread: The season is closed. Count how many times you hear that said.

No one at all

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Kommen Sie bitte and listen to the conference league play-off draw

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Little refresher for you:

How the draw works

Champions path

• Teams eliminated in the third qualifying round of the UEFA Europa League will be seeded.

• The balls containing the names of the seeded teams will be placed in one bowl and the balls containing the unseeded sides will be put into another bowl. One ball will be taken from each bowl and placed in a large empty bowl in the middle, where they will be shuffled. The first team drawn will play at home in the first leg.

Main path

• Clubs in the Main path are seeded and drawn for the play-off draw based on the club coefficient rankings established at the beginning of the season.

• The 34 teams are divided into three groups of eight teams (Groups 1 to 3) and one group of ten teams (Group 4). Within each of the four groups, the teams are divided into an equal number of seeded and unseeded teams.

• If any club in a third qualifying round match has a coefficient that would entitle it to be seeded for the play-off draw, the winner of that match is automatically seeded for the draw.

• Teams from the same association cannot be drawn against each other. Further restrictions will be announced before the draw.

Groups 1 to 3

• All the clubs in each of the first three groups are randomly assigned a number: 1 to 4 for the seeded teams and 5 to 8 for the unseeded teams.

• Two bowls are prepared, one for the seeded teams (four balls containing slips of paper numbered 1 to 4) and the other for the unseeded teams (four balls containing slips of paper numbered 5 to 8).

• A ball is taken from each bowl and placed in an empty bowl, where they are shuffled. One of the two balls is drawn at random, then opened to display the number it contains. The second ball is drawn and opened to complete the pairing. The result applies to all three groups. The first ball drawn designates the home team in the first leg of all three ties.

Group 4

• All the clubs in the group are randomly assigned a number: 1 to 5 for the seeded teams and 6 to 10 for the unseeded teams.

• Two bowls are prepared, one for the seeded teams (five balls containing slips of paper numbered 1 to 5) and the other for the unseeded teams (five balls containing slips of paper numbered 6 to 10).

• A ball is taken from each bowl and placed in an empty bowl, where they are shuffled. One of the two balls is drawn at random, then opened to display the number it contains. The second ball is drawn and opened to complete the pairing. The first ball drawn designates the home team for the first leg.

• The same procedure is carried out with the remaining balls to complete the pairings.

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To clarify- this is not a draw to decide groups, this is just for a play off round!

Can’t wait to lose to a team from the Faroe Islands

Actually they’re the dolphin killers aren’t they? fuck 'em hope we beat them so hard they give up.

Football thread meet is a must if any of Shamrock Rovers, St Pat’s or Sligo Rovers get into the group stage.

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Where are we meeting, Malta?

  • Cats
  • Dolphins

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Been looking at five-season net spends for something I’m writing. Thought the data was quite interesting, so here you go. All been checked.

  • Only two clubs made a (small) profit.
  • Everton actually have a fairly healthy net spend, contrary to public opinion.
  • City now have the 11th highest in the Premier League, so probably shouldn’t be challenging for the league at all really.
  • Villa, Spurs and West Ham blowing biiiig kippers.
  • Arsenal new biggest spenders in England.
  1. Arsenal -£449m
  2. United -£398m
  3. West Ham -£290m
  4. Spurs -£271m
  5. Villa -£265m
  6. Chelsea -£259m
  7. Newcastle -£253m
  8. Liverpool -£213m
  9. Wolves -£205m
  10. Fulham -£169m
  11. Man City -£168m
  12. Leeds -£126m
  13. Southampton -£108m
  14. Brighton -£105m
  15. Everton -£98m
  16. Leicester -£93m
  17. Forest -£93m
  18. Palace -£78m
  19. Bournemouth +£6m
  20. Brentford +£14m

Dream. Makers.
Record. Breakers.
Game. Changers.

Not my words, Andy, but those of a certain Robyn. Cowen.

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Excited to see who will bite first

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Seinfeld Nightmare GIF by HULU

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You won’t catch me comparing spurs and leicester’s net spends and trophies won and tagging in harru, no sir

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Malta, Gibraltar, ooh I wanna Confy

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I’m waiting to see who will post the talk about net spend jpeg.

It’ll be me cause I’m impatient

Always disappointed he didn’t name his blog Keys to the World in reference to Richard Ashcroft’s 2006 album and song ‘Keys to the World’.

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Selling an excellent, versatile leftback to a top 4 rival for pennies whilst spending all summer trailing after some guy who’s had one decent season for Brighton before another top 4 rival gazzump us by virtue of simply paying the asking price a week before the season starts is some top, top brane geniusing, it must be said.

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Just as well you didn’t sell Nathan Ake.

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Agreed, but I’ve just had a look at this definitely-not-Rodwell-vibes lad we’re meant to be in for from Anderlecht, and he actually looks pretty good.

Selling Zinchenko’s a bit of unecessary self-sabotage for me. Jesus and Sterling had to go because they were running out of contract, so irrespective of how they do £95m for them was good business, but Zinchenko was genuinely one of our best possession players, and he always looked absolutely thrilled to be here.

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