The joy of measurement (Rolling like measuring tape)

This is a thread for all kinds of measurement fun.

What have you had measured lately?

What’s your sense of measurement like? Is it worth someone asking you to show them ten centremetres with your fingers or to ask you how far it is to the post office in metres/yards?

Do you know how far away from the centre of the nearest town or city you are?

Do you measure stuff with an app on your phone like some kind of space alien?

Anyone got the measure of you?

1 Like

You measure a horse in “hands”

Sorry to hear that


Have to measure out rope and hose and stuff by the metre at work so now I’m a pretty good judge of when something’s a metre long just by looking. Is this the kind of thought-provoking content you were after?



Do you ever say “twice the length from halfway to the end”?

You bet your sweet, taut behind.

1 Like

Thought I was pretty good at this sort of stuff but then I got absolutely humiliated when getting a quote for some new flooring in the hallway the other day. Had over-estimated our space by a factor of 2.

Save it for the Thursday filth thread m9…

No, you presumptuous prick.

You might measure a horse in hands.

I’ve never measured a fucking horse in my life.

See, this is why you get in so many fights on here.

Your attitude stinks.

1 Like

Oh, sorry :disappointed:

1 Like

How deep is your love?

That’s better.

Maybe there is hope for you, after all.

been measuring fucking loads recently as am selling stuff off ebay and always treading a thin line between large letter and small parcel.
Apparently the post office measure the stuff when you are in there and about to send it, then put the postage needed on it, and then the guy was claiming they measure it again when it’s in the sorting office or sumfink and on the belt or sumfink…dunno about that, sounds like bollocks

I measured up our downstairs for parquet flooring earlier this year, added 10% for wastage and was pretty pleased with my work. Guy we had fitting it came round, measured up with HIS LAZER FREAKING MEASURE, and came up with a much larger estimate. Of course, as he was actually fitting it we had to go with his measurements. On the day he finished he rather sheepishly announced that we had quite a lot of flooring left. He was right - we had around £400 worth of spare flooring which we couldn’t return. It’s now in our loft unlikely to ever see the light of day again. Fuck the planet…

1 Like

When we moved house we had some units that fit really well together for books, CDs and shit like that. There’s a kind of wide alcove in our new place and measurements told us these units might just fit in the alcove, but there was like 1 or 2mm in it. We moved in and they only bloody well fit didn’t they!

Great story that, you’re welcome.

Apologies that I can’t remember who it was but someone was talking about these the other day so I stuck it on my wishlist and no fucker got it for my b’day which may or may not have been quite recently:

And I’m not sure if I read it here but was it Miyamoto or Miyazaki (sorry pretty racist forgetting) whose hobby was estimating measurements.

No way is a Henry only 25 cm

If it’s size can’t be calculated in number of football pitches or in relation to Wales, I’m not interested.

1 Like

Lot of humble pie needs to be consumed here.