If you’ve ever had a joke or pun but never had the chance to use it, now is your chance. You might as well tell us about it and get something out of it.
I once had a girlfriend (no, honestly) and she told me her dad had bought her a cow stool, to this day I regret not saying to her “why did he buy you a big poo”.
Warren Buffett should’ve done a buffet restaurant, his money will never compensate for that loss.
On old dis I once posted a link to a map showing a pub called the Prince Albert on a street called Bellenden Rd. Got a few thises I think but probably derserved more
I have been waiting an eternity for Chelsea midfielder Willian to score an equaliser in a game, only for the other team to run riot and give the goal consolation status. In such cases I would expect a newspaper to go with the headline “Willian, it was really nothing”. Alas, this has not happened.
In our pub a lady asked me once if our “apple juice was pressed.” I said no, it was de-pressed because everyone always bought orange juice instead. She didn’t get it.
I had an FM save many moons ago with a midfielder called Mozart - can’t remember which team.
Anyway, in my mind there were plenty of ‘Mozart pulling the strings in midfield’ / ‘another virtuoso display by Mozart’ / ‘Mozart composed himself before delivering the set-piece’ etc.