#15

In our pub a lady asked me once if our “apple juice was pressed.” I said no, it was de-pressed because everyone always bought orange juice instead. She didn’t get it.

3 Likes
#16

Similarly I’ve been waiting for Victor Moses to ‘part the red sea’, potentially running past the whole of Liverpool or something.

Nothing to date.

Other potential headlines:

Not too Xabi
Barkley’s Premier League
Rojo’s Modern Life

edit: Also for Aaron Ramsey to score an own goal against Spurs –
RAMSEY’S TREAT FOR NEIGHBOURS

4 Likes
#17

I had an FM save many moons ago with a midfielder called Mozart - can’t remember which team.

Anyway, in my mind there were plenty of ‘Mozart pulling the strings in midfield’ / ‘another virtuoso display by Mozart’ / ‘Mozart composed himself before delivering the set-piece’ etc.

1 Like
#18

On DiS 2.0 I posted a thread called “General Erection Thread” as a pun against the behemoth that is the General Election Thread.

0 replies! Fucking zero!

I even posted a pic of a rather large building shaped like a cock.

2 Likes
#19

Revive it on June 8th, I reckon

#20

Dunno. My feelings took a big hit. Understandable after a zero replies thread, I guess.

#21

Do you get a badge for that?

#22

should have made it a really earnest thread about architecture

#23

Or a really earnest thread about erections. Zero relationship with politics.

#24

Am waiting for Graziano Pelle to be out of contract so I can make a “Jobless Pelle” joke.

#25

(IDGI)

#26

Long standing DiS injoke (brought on by some pretty horrid behaviour by an ex-DiSer)

And Fella rhymes with Pelle

#27

Not feeling this one, sorry.

#28

apology rejected

#29

Waiting on the spirit of Jeremy Beadle possessing a yacht so I can sell the headline ‘Watch Out, Beadle’s a Boat’

#30

or if he goes to Birmingham City and does very well

City dweller, successful Pellè

3 Likes
#31

Thought of this joke the other day, far too late for to be any way topical:

How can you tell a hardcore punk gardener?

Straight hedge.

1 Like
#32

This is a good thread. I’ve been trying to float this one for ages, and so far only one person has given it the love I have for it.

People say there’s lots of negatives about Switzerland, but the flag’s a big plus.

7 Likes
#34

YES! It’s because it’s mint. I need better friends, clearly.

#35

I was talking about switzerland recently with someone, I’m so sorry I didn’t make use of this